This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.

"Something, something, something, Obama Care, something, something."

Here's the leftovers...

It's only temporary until a room opens up in the hospital.

He looks so spiteful.






This week's nominees...

"I smell a horse."
Submitted by Tom Werts, 
New York, N.Y.

"I hope Harry don't crack. The cops are riding him pretty hard."
Submitted by J. Michael Douglas, 
Houston, Texas

"Because PETA said we can't whack him."
Submitted by Lee Neville, 
Niagara Falls, N.Y.

I entered...
"This is a job for Jimmy Two Thumbs, Pauly Sideburns, and Tommy Horse Cop."

This Week's New Yorker

Here is my entry in this week's New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.

"No more Sweeney Todd soundtrack for you."

Here are the leftovers...

Online barber school huh Chuck?

He said a "LITTLE" off the top.
Well, he asked for a flat top.

This week's nominations...

"You don't say!"

Submitted by Jon Frye, 

Evanston, Ill.

"Stop me if you've heard this one.

"Submitted by William Rodarmor, 

Berkeley, Calif.

"You're cut out for this job.

"Submitted by Nael Alami, 

Memphis, Tenn.

I entered...

"Anyone ever tell you you look like the Marlboro man?"

This Week's New Yorker

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.

 "This is a job for Jimmy Two Thumbs, Pauly Sideburns, and Tommy Horse Cop."

The leftovers

Gentlemen there is a rat among us. 

Gentlemen something stinks in this room.

This week's nominees...

"Last internship I was a coatrack."
Submitted by Dwight Vesty, 

Rochester, N.Y.

"Your mornings can't be any worse than my afternoons."
Submitted by Tim O'Connell, 

Henderson, Nev.

"Roger, everything reminds you of sex."
Submitted by Jerry Schulman, 

Western Springs, Ill.

I entered...

"Want to get lunch with the wastebasket guy?"

 

New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this week's New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.

"Anyone ever tell you you look like the Marlboro man?"

Here are the leftovers...

Pour me a stiff one.

Thanks for keeping the bar open.

But enough about me...

No? Okay, then I'll drive myself home.

If you had a bottom half I'd take you home.

This Week's Nominees...

"This is why I hate cross-country skiing."
Submitted by Jesse Martin, 

Chula Vista, Calif.

"Worst Groupon ever!"
Submitted by Scott Middleton, 

Washington, D.C.

"I'm starting to hate your bucket list."
Submitted by Mark Huebner, 

Toronto, Ont.

I entered...

"I still don't think global warming is real."

New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.

"Want to get lunch with the wastebasket guy?"

 

Leftovers...

Play your cards right and you could end up with my job.

At least we're not holding the toilet paper anymore.

This Week's Nominations...

"As long as it has four wheels, two headlights, and one steering wheel, we're happy."
Submitted by Pavel Cupal,

Hastings-on-Hudson, N.Y.

"It's a toy!"
Submitted by Gale Davis,

Pasadena, Calif.

"Mazda tov!"
Submitted by Aziz El-Tahch, 

New York, N.Y.

I entered...

"But wait, I think I saw a college fund in there too!"

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this week's New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.

"I still don't think global warming is real."

Leftovers...

Let's just call it a tie.

At least we beat the tourist season.






This Week's Nominees...

"I am from Doctors Without Offices."
Submitted by David Kempler,
Plainview, N.Y. 

"Now I'm getting a signal."
Submitted by Heather Rose Dominic,
New York, N.Y.

"Bad news: you've got four blocks to live."
Submitted by Ed Geis,
Portland, Ore.

I entered...

"Okay, let's move on to the prostate exam."

New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.

"But wait, I think I saw a college fund in there too!"

This week's nominees...

"What happened to your goldfish?"

Submitted by Mark Scheier,

Acton, Mass.

"It looks like Ted is out of gumballs. Meeting adjourned."
Submitted by Mark Hoehner,

Kensington, Calif.

"I miss you, too, Aunt Maude, but we were hoping to speak with Mr. Jobs."
Submitted by Brian Throckmorton,

Lexington, Ky.

I entered...

"If you don't have an idea could you please turn that off?"

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this week's New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.

"Okay, let's move on to the prostate exam."

Here are the leftovers...

 Let's head in here and get a live stool.

 Just 23 more hours of this.

Can I interest you in life insurance?














This week's nominees...


"Crazy people have sat in yours."
Submitted by Jana McClain,
Carnation, Wash.

"Well, I have to go—my ride is here."
Submitted by Luam Melake,
New York, N.Y. 

"Are there two guys with a couch following me or am I imagining it?"
Submitted by Mary Ann Fitze,
Long Beach, Calif.

I entered...
"Seems we have more work to do on my Kleptomania."

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contesst

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.

"If you don't have an idea could you please turn that off?"

Here are the leftovers...

Any bright ideas?

Don't say "gum balls" again.

I can see right through you.

No pressure.








This week's nominations...

"One thing led to another."

Submitted by Joseph Merrill,

St. Paul, Minn.   

"He's not finished."

Submitted by D. G. Rogers,

Spokane, Wash.

"He makes me feel young again."

Submitted by Elliott Goldkind,

Los Angeles, Calif.

I entered...

"Doing puzzles helps me sleep."

New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this week's New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.

"Seems we have more work to do on my Kleptomania."

Here are the leftovers...

I think we're really making progress on my germ phobia.

You were right, I did need to take my treatment into my daily life.






This week's nominees...

"Frankly, Sheila, I find this the most awkward part of our divorce agreement."

Submitted by Ronald Rubin,

Topanga, Calif.

"I hate our therapist." 
Submitted by Jorn Earl Otte,

Mount Hope, W.Va.

"I have the same exact dog." 
Submitted by Steven Baumholtz,

Pleasant Valley, N.Y.

I entered...

"Squatter's rights."

The Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.

"Doing puzzles helps me sleep."

Here are the leftovers...


I knew you'd eventually connect the dots.

I'm getting you back for doing the crossword.

At least he challenges me!


This Week's Nominees...

"I'm up here."

Submitted by Jake Lane,

Dobbs Ferry, N.Y.

"I think the hormones are kicking in." 

Submitted by Eugene L. Morgulis,

Boston, Mass.

"Don't laugh—it got my uncle out of the Army." 

Submitted by Ric Teller, 

Santa Clarita, Calif.

I entered...

"I don't care what holiday follows I still like Halloween."

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this week's New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.

"Squatter's rights."

Here are the leftovers...

My dog smells your dog.

And you thought the break up would be awkward.

They're really cracking down on the leash laws.

You put half in your bag, I'll put half in mine.

I do not tell you how to do everything. 

This week's nominees...

"You're in luck! It's cannabis."
Submitted by Rick Adolph,

Naples, Fla.

"Are you here for your annual or your perennial?"
Submitted by Pete Critelli,

Kailua-Kona, Hawaii

"Just get plenty of water and sunlight."
Submitted by Erik Mintz,

Bronx, N.Y.

I entered...

"The good news is they'll definitely name this after you." 

New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.

"I don't care what holiday follows I still like Halloween."

Here are the leftovers...

They can't kill you if they think you're crazy.

I'm genetically engineered. 

This Week's Nominees...

"Can't you just ignore the polls on this one and go with your instinct?"
Submitted by Paul Olson,

Boston, Mass.

"Let's face it. One side of the bed consistently outperforms the other."
Submitted by Brian Alexander,

Brooklyn, N.Y.

"Sometimes I wish you would keep your performance targets to yourself."
Submitted by J. Ott,

Los Angeles, Calif.

I entered...

"And I thought kissing babies helped."

The New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this week's New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.

"The good news is they'll definitely name this after you." 

Here are the leftovers...

I'm gonna keep you here until you pass the three magic beans.

Make that a seedless apple a day.

You just have to make it to fall.

I think we're going to have to induce blooming.


This week's nominations....

"The window cleaner brings a pastry."
Submitted by Debbie Bogenschutz,
Ludlow, Ky.

"Career-wise, my mistake was misunderstanding the term 'Wall Street guru.' "
Submitted by Ken Alexander,
Culver City, Calif.

"Meaning of Life is at the top. This is Meaning of Beatlers Lyrics."
Submitted by Ira Marlowe, Berkeley, Calif.

I entered...
 "Sorry, the line starts at the elevator."

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.

"And I thought kissing babies helped."

Here are the leftovers...

And the poles are in!

Yeah, it doesn't look good. 

This Week's Nominees...

"Come on! Do you have any idea how long it took to get through the turnstiles?"

Submitted by Michael Briddon,

Cambridge, Mass.

"Sheep Meadow? No, we wanna see the 'Seinfeld' diner."

Submitted by Jon Bander,

Astoria, N.Y.

"For your information, I have a client who has a lot of trouble sleeping."

Submitted by Richard Lee,

 Santa Monica, Calif.

I entered...

"Can we bring food on the train?"

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this week's New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.

"Sorry, the line starts at the elevator."

Leftovers...

You smoke?





Here's this week's nominees...

"Your slogan should be 'Rest assured. My wife will do it.' "
Submitted by Pam Cleveland, 
Placentia, Calif.

"Your speechwriter wants to know if you prefer 'inexhaustible' or 'unrelenting.' "
Submitted by Kevin Dorse,
Ottawa, Ontario

"Your constituent called."
Submitted by Wally Hayman,
 Gladwyne, Pa.

I entered...
"You'd better leave my husband's coming home."

The New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.

"Can we bring food on the train?"

Here's the leftovers...

You're all sheep!

Hey buddy, no bicycles in the front car!

This week's nominations...

"Quick, before Bloomberg bans it!"

Submitted by Rita Costanzo,

Staten Island, N.Y.

"When."

Submitted by Victoria Y. Rice,

New York, N.Y.

"Best decaf in town, Dolores."

Submitted by Krista Van Wart, 

Brooklyn, N.Y.

I entered...

"Nobody pours a cup of Four Loko like you Deb."

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this week's New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.

"You'd better leave my husband's coming home."

Here's the leftovers...


I'm not taking that to the grocery store.

Don't you even want to know what you're voting on today?

You could always start a band called "Walter Gruenby".

How about, "For sale on ebay"?


Here's this week's nominations...

"They keep watch on the offshore accounts."
Submitted by Michael Vorenberg, Barrington, R.I.

"They used to face left."
Submitted by Jeffrey Hutchins, Black Mountain, N.C.

"Fortunately, they only cover one per cent of the island."
Submitted by Tod Goldberg, Indio, Calif.

I entered...
"We feel they make a stronger statement than the usual campaign lawn signs." 

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.

"Nobody pours a cup of Four Loko like you Deb."

Here's this week's nominees...

"I think my wife is having us tailed."
Submitted by Marianne L. Kelly

 Lancaster, Pa.

"I know I was having trouble finding it, but this is a little extreme."
Submitted by Gabriel Eiger

 North Bend, Wash.

"I'll take it from here, Marlowe."
Submitted by Bill Binger

Alta, Utah

I entered...

"I think your husband is having us followed."

The New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this week's New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.

"We feel they make a stronger statement than the usual campaign lawn signs." 

Here's the leftovers...

We dress them up every Halloween.

Better here than Mount Rushmore.

Here's this week's nominees...

"I just don't care that much about Medicare anymore."
Submitted by David S. Goodman, Cleveland Heights, Ohio

"He's pro-afterlife."
Submitted by Robert Huffman, Stafford, Va.

"I hear he forged his death certificate."
Submitted by Tom Pierce, Louisville, Ky.

I entered...

"I thought they were all down there."