Sunday, June 27, 2010

This week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.

"It sends fifty thousand volts of synergy through the body."

Here are the leftovers...

What would you like to discuss for your last meeting?

Bring in the next applicant.

Congratulations, you got a promotion.

We call it the Exec-utioner.

Here's this weeks nominees...

"I feel a vibration. Can you call my cell phone again?"
Submitted by Chris Sonne
Huntington Beach, Calif.

"These executive desk toys are becoming a nuisance."
Submitted by Robert Malina
Los Angeles, Calif.

"Cancel my lunch date and get me a six-foot baguette."
Submitted by Paul Samra
Brooklyn, N.Y.

I entered...

"Bad news is he ate my computer, good news is I found the "home row" keys."

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Tracy Screening in L.A.!

Good news, "Tracy" got into the Burbank International Film Festival...

...bad news, I don't know when or where it's screening yet. The festival runs from July 31st to August 7th, but they haven't posted any dates yet.

I'll post the date and venue as soon as I hear!


The New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.

“Day seven drinking the Ultra latte, Michael and Peter are dead; but we move on.”

Here are the left overs...

“Biscotti Ho!”

“I ordered a medium!”

“Is this your largest size?”

“Can I get a to-go lid?”

“I meant “Grande”! I really need to brush up on my Spanish!”

Here are this week's nominees...

"That was the wakeup call from Hell."
Submitted by Helen Harrison
Sag Harbor, N.Y.

Submitted by Christopher Butler
Los Angeles, Calif.

"I think the collection agency is getting serious."
Submitted by Joe Walters
Charleston, S.C.

I entered...
"We never should have gotten caller IED."

Friday, June 18, 2010

Dog Toy Painting Series (Guest Artist Carol Painting)

Here's another great Carol drawing! This one was done by guest artist Kelsey Mann. This awesome/disturbing drawing of Carol was done as a Birthday card for my 34th Birthday this Monday. Check out more of Kelsey's work here.

Sunday, June 06, 2010

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

"Bad news is he ate my computer, good news is I found the "home row" keys."

This was a very busy week, so my New Yorker entry came in a little late. Better luck next week!

Here's the leftovers...

I'm a "liti-gator", get it?

Close the door quietly I just put him to sleep.

I need you to keep rubbing counter clockwise while I run to the bathroom.

I'm having lunch at my desk today...What? No, I didn't mean I was going to eat this alligator! Karen, you know I'm vegan. I meant I want the caprese salad from "T.J. Hoopers" brought to my desk, hold the mozzarella. Jesus, you know I love this alligator! I'm sorry, it's just that I work so hard all day, and I have one half hour to myself and I chose to spend it rubbing an elderly alligator's tummy, and this kind of stuff, just makes me feel like I have to explain myself to you and everyone. All I ask is one half hour a day to myself, out of an 8 sometimes 10 hour day! I'm sorry that I can't give more to this company! I'm sorry Karen it's not your fault, I'm just tired. I'm tired, and I can't believe Dan is doing this same bit again. Just because he didn't have time to come up with a funny captions he thinks he can do another rambling one. It's just lazy. He's been doing these captions for over a year, and I just hope that he's not going to do one rambling caption every week now and think that that is cleaver, because it's just not, it's cynical, and frankly unoriginal! There's already a guy who does joke New Yorker Caption Contest entries here. I hate this kind of thing. Again, so cynical, such a bullshit cop out. Why can't people just try to be actually funny, instead of being sarcastic? I'll tell you why, because it's easy to be sarcastic. I hate this kind of humor. Look Scanlon, either take the time to write some actual funny captions, or stop entering all together! It's been over a year and you haven't been nominated, so maybe it's time to call it quits. He's just phoning in a crock of shit for the last few months! He's just dialing in a crock. He's a Crock O Dial! Get it! YEAHHH!!!! He's back!

This weeks nominees...

“I hate the way corporate thinking has taken over surfing, man.”
Submitted by Rob Chafin
Amarillo, Texas

“Now you're embarrassing me, Dad.”
Submitted by Nigel Arscott
El Cerrito, Calif.

“Sharks are biting on gabardine today. Polyester should be O.K.”
Submitted by David McElwain
Boise, Idaho

I entered...

"How do I know you're not a cop?"
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