This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.

"I think your husband is having us followed."

Here are the leftovers...

I brought protection.

I told you I had a Private Dick.

Here's this week's nominees...

"Any stiffness?"
Submitted by Ryan Scott Misener

 Tampa, Fla.

"Sorry about the wait."
Submitted by Bob Howard

 Eugene, Ore.

"Any family history with death?" 
Submitted by Stephanie Nilva

New York, N.Y.

I entered...

"Since your last visit it looks like you've lost 21 grams."

New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks The New York Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.

"I thought they were all down there."

Here are the leftovers...

Oh now he wants health care reform.

Here's this week's nominees...

"Worst internship ever."
Submitted by Mike Tringale, 

Washington, D.C.

"Golden parachute, my ass."
Submitted by George D. Mulligan,

Ardmore, Pa.

"If I go, page 4 of our report goes with me."
Submitted by Robert B. Pierce,

Oberlin, Ohio

I entered...

"I meant let's "figuratively" go out on a ledge."

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.

"Since your last visit it looks like you've lost 21 grams."

Here are the leftovers...

Looks like your cholesterol is no longer a problem.

Here are this week's nominees...

"You can tell the judge why you were doing CX in an XXV."
Submitted by Brian Magaña,

Bainbridge Island, Wash.

"No, really. Your chariot awaits."
Submitted by Anne Bruns,

 Manassas, Va.

"I am Spartacab."

Submitted by Alan Farkas, 

Los Angeles, Calif.

I entered... 

"Look, if you left the bar with me you clearly shouldn't be driving."

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks The New York Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.

"I meant let's "figuratively" go out on a ledge."

And this week's nominees...

"The hairs on my chinny chin chin got caught in your damn escalator."

Submitted by Claudia McGoldrickCape

May Court House, N.J.

"Whenever I eat an apple, everyone assumes that I'm dead." Submitted by Bill KesslerLos 

Angeles, Calif.

"Stop sending me spam!"Submitted by Sean Lynch

Brooklyn, N.Y.

I entered...

"Somebody went wee wee wee all over the men's room."

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.

"Look, if you left the bar with me you clearly shouldn't be driving."

Here are the leftovers...

This isn't just a halloween costume, this is a lifestyle.

My ride still has that new horse smell. 

Here are this weeks nominations...

"Quit joking, you guys, and grab my legs again."
Submitted by Philip Ratcliff
Cloverdale, Calif.

"No, it's true. Walking, I move incredibly slow."
Submitted by Nick Jones
Los Angeles, Calif.

"That rabbit has no idea who he was messing with."
Submitted by Amazis Solomon
San Francisco, Calif.

I entered...

"Mom says she has something important to tell me when we get home."

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks The New York Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.

"Somebody went wee wee wee all over the men's room."

Here are the leftovers...

Well why do you even sell straw houses then?

Here are this week's nominees...

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."
Submitted by Adam Hackbarth
O'Fallon, Mo.

"This week we'll delve a little deeper than 'Because it's there,' Mr. Mallory."
Submitted by Dianna Orr
Huntington Beach, Calif.

"You're in luck! My three-o'clock seems to have fallen off the face of the earth."
Submitted by Alex Rose
Wellesley, Mass.

I entered...

"My last appointment fell off, I mean through."

The New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.

"Mom says she has something important to tell me when we get home."

Here are the leftovers...

This is gonna freak out that fox.

Here are this week's nominees...

"I have to warn you, I don't exactly have a bladder of steel."
Submitted by Laurie Graham
Springfield, Va.

"I'm always amazed these things actually fly."
Submitted by Ralph Schwartz
Bellingham, Wash.

"I feel like we've gotten a little soft, Lex."
Submitted by Todd Rosenberg
Brooklyn, N.Y.

I entered...

"Give me a break, I'm over 70 years-old."

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks The New York Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.

"My last appointment fell off, I mean through."

Here are the leftovers...

Would you mind whipping your feet?

Here are this week's nominees...

“You promised me you would stop after you lost your arm from that paper cut!”
Submitted by Andrew Lane
Natick, Mass.

“You realize a seven-foot diary is fair game.”
Submitted by Jim McClellan
Greenbrae, Calif.

“I'm surprised you can ghostwrite for him. I've only heard him say, ‘Fee fi fo fum.’ "
Submitted by Joy Hanek
Vacaville, Calif.

I entered...

"Just admit you need glasses!"

The New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.

"Give me a break, I'm over 70 years-old."

Here are the leftovers...

It's cold out there.

I'm not good with directions.

I like the peanuts. 

Well, this is my stop.

No, I'm not an Air Marshall!

Here's this week's nominees...

"Yes, I asked very politely. But he still says the rest room in there is for employees only."
Submitted by Michael Skocpol
Washington, D.C.

“I feel we should rethink our immigration policy.”
Submitted by Mike Hagerty
North Hollywood, Calif.

“Ask again if anyone turned in a phone.”
Submitted by John David Burke
Park Ridge, Ill.

I entered...

"One more day and I'm eating the tollbooth guy. " 

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks The New York Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.

 "Just admit you need glasses!"

Here's the leftovers...

 Sometimes I think you want me to find your journal.



Here's this week's nominees...

 

"As an icebreaker, let's all share one interesting thing about ourselves. I'll start."
Submitted by Bob Low
Lakewood Ranch, Fla.

  

"To illustrate how couples come to look alike, this is my wife."
Submitted by Bob Howard
Eugene, Ore. 

“Please hold your applause—there are eighteen more minutes of this.”
Submitted by Gabriel Gomes
Las Vegas, Nev.

I entered..

"Skip this one."

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.

"One more day and I'm eating the tollbooth guy. " 

Here are the leftovers....


I hope they validate.  

This neighborhood's changed.

I hope that rescue boat has the right parking stickers.

I Finally feel safe.


Here are this week's nominees...

 "They're trying to attract a younger crowd."
Submitted by John W. Jones
Arlington, Va.

"Which sounds faster: 'clip-clop, clip-clop' or 'clippety-clop'?"
Submitted by Luke McNeill
Arlington, Mass.

"And they said my career was over after 'The Godfather.' "
Submitted by Brad Stratton
Franklin, Wis.

I entered...

"We now return to the new season of HBO's "Luck"."

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks The New York Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.

"Skip this one."

Here's the leftovers...

Did I intend to include this slide in the presentation? Let's go with yes.

Here's this week's nominees...

"And the worst part is this isn't my luggage."

Submitted by Kevin J. KilleenOld Bridge, N.J.

"Stop complaining. I can be used as a flotation device."

Submitted by David ZasloffValley Village, Calif.

"Help me get under the seat for takeoff."

Submitted by Gary CrockettChevy Chase, Md.

I entered...

"I'm trying to get under the seat in front of me!"

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.

"We now return to the new season of HBO's "Luck"."

Here's this week's nominees...

"He's the advertising executive. Let him come up with a caption."
Submitted by Bev Shortess
Spotsylvania, Va.

"Take the commission, hon, and you can paint full time."
Submitted by Tom Navratil
Bethesda, Md.

"What kind of Neanderthal uses vodka instead of gin?"
Submitted by Tim Paradis
New London, N.H

I entered...

"I thought his cave would be nicer."

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks The New York Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.

"I'm trying to get under the seat in front of me!"

Here are the leftovers...

You've got to be prepared for anything.

I use to wear a fanny pack, but those look so dumb.

Here's this week's nominees...

“But, honey, I just ate.”
Submitted by Chris Gordon
Belfast, Maine

“When is it ever a good time to break up?”
Submitted by Jennifer Chapman
Elk Grove, Calif.

“Where am I going to get the four million shrimp for the ransom?”
Submitted by Les Michalak
Burlington, Ont.

I entered...

"Careful, you just ate!"

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.

"I thought his cave would be nicer."

Here are the leftovers...

Would you mind asking your guest to remove his shoes?

That's how you use ALL of the buffalo. 

It's not you, it's him.

Here's this week's nominees...

"When they said, 'Take us to your leader,' I don't think they meant your mother's house."
Submitted by Sally Anne Groomes
Bethlehem, Pa.

"I don't care what planet they are from, they can pass on the left like everyone else."
Submitted by Justin Sather
Oswego, Ill.

"Which finger do I use for aliens?"
Submitted by Zachary Yanez
Houston, Texas

I entered...

"Whatever you do don't tell the spacemen we've been doing drugs."

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks The New York Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.

"Careful, you just ate!"

Here are the leftovers...

And you were worried about the undertow.

This weeks nominees...

“My sister’s coming over. You could at least throw on a slipcover.”


Submitted by Karen Parker


Troy, Mich.

“I’ve decided to redecorate.”


Submitted by Dina Berg

Lakewood Ranch, Fla.

“And to think I could have married an Eames chair!”


Submitted by Michael Jones

Evanston, Ill.

I entered...

"I should have married that riding mower.

this Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.



"Whatever you do don't tell the spacemen we've been doing drugs."

Here are the leftovers...

This guys up my ass.

Great another SUV UFO.









This week's nominees...






“This particular species is believed to have travelled in troupes.”
Submitted by Curtis Williams
Los Angeles, Calif.

“They hated each other when they were alive.”
Submitted by Barry Friedman
Tulsa, Okla.

“We have some very promising new theories about why they became extinct.”
Submitted by William Peek
Locust Valley, N.Y.

I entered...

"We found these deep in the Catskills."

this Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.


"I should have married that riding mower."






Here are the leftovers...


What happened to the love seat I married?

You can't even fold out into a bed anymore.






Here's this week's nominees...




"Worst fifty bucks I ever spent."
Submitted by Stefan Martula
Houston, Texas

“Trust me. They like experienced.”
Submitted by George McCarthy
Swarthmore, Pa.

“So much for a safe word.”
Submitted by Lane B. Fike
Philadelphia, Pa

I entered...

"They're in her purse next to my head."

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.


"We found these deep in the Catskills."






Here are the leftovers...


I think they're "prehysterical"!

How do you know this is "wrong"?

Television killed the dinosaurs.

You have a better explanation for the giant hats we found?







Here are the nominees...




“Your tattoo escaped.”
Submitted by Mike Druhan
Mobile, Ala.

“Don’t look at me. I wanted a Portuguese water dog.”
Submitted by Elizabeth Cannon
Elmwood Park, Ill.

“Marco!”
Submitted by Michael Albertson
Sunnyside, N.Y.

I entered...

"I think the chlorine levels are off again."

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.


"They're in her purse next to my head."



Here are the leftovers...

I think my wives cheating on me with another guy.

Better than being single.

Looks like somebody got lucky last night.





This week's nominees...



“I keep forming inappropriate attachments.”
Submitted by Stan Kantrowitz
Los Angeles, Calif.

“Just how revealing are ink blots?”
Submitted by Kathleen Hurwitz
Murrieta, Calif.

“You’re right. Maybe sometimes a sea cucumber is just a sea cucumber.”
Submitted by Julian Hirst
New York, N.Y.

I entered...

"I'm sure you hear this all the time."