This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.


"If only there was a way to pause this so I could go to the bathroom."




Here's the leftovers...


Looks like there’s a use for this “fire” after all.

Now if we can just figure out how to turn fire into porn.

The news is too flashy these days.

I’ve seen this one.

Thank you, we’ll have our people capture your people.





Here's this weeks nominees...





“Dr. Ogden just called to say your mercury levels are on the high side.”
Submitted by Carol Burnham
Belvedere, Calif.

“Did you put 3,250 pounds of 'fresh mackerel' on my credit card?”
Submitted by Les Rubin
Floral Park, N.Y.

“Those buckets of fish heads aren't going to take themselves out.”
Submitted by Meredith Tyminski
Scottsdale, Ariz.

I entered...
"I don’t care if you are a walrus, start acting like a manatee!"

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.


"The conference room needs "extra seats", not ecstasy!"









Here's the leftovers...


I told you he's not allowed to have caffeine.

How do you know that was my fart?








Here's this week's nominees...




"I'm six feet tall if I stand on my toes."
Submitted by Bruce Fallick
Kirkland, Wash.

"O.K., now we'd like to see No. 4 in the tutu."
Submitted by Mike Hammer
Arlington, Va.

"These were winnowed down from a group of thirty-seven using DNA testing."
Submitted by Robert Siegel
Rochester, N.Y.

I entered...
"Number 3 please perform a Petit jete followed by a Fouette en tournant and say, “Give me your wallet or I’ll knock out your teeth."

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.


"I don’t care if you are a walrus, start acting like a manatee!"




Here are the leftovers...

Oh, stop your blubbering.



Here's this weeks nominees...





"This is the last time I park on this side of town!"
Submitted by Michael Wagner
Glendale, Wis.

"I knew I should have had that alarm installed when I got you."
Submitted by James Novaco
Naugatuck, Conn.

"Sorry, boy, but you know how it is with them peel 'n' eat shrimp."
Submitted by Andrew Jeske
Hartsdale, N.Y.


I entered...
"Good news! I won your skin back."

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.


"Number 3 please perform a Petit jete followed by a Fouette en tournant and say, “Give me your wallet or I’ll knock out your teeth."



Here are the leftovers...


Do you know which one of the suspects waltz out of the store with your money?

Mrs. Harding would you please step forward.










Here are this weeks nominees...






“You the Ponzi varmint that lost our nest egg?”
Submitted by Annette Gasparon
Secane, Pa.

“Sorry, buddy, but we've got the room for the next hour.”
Submitted by Joseph Gibson
Winter Haven, Fla.

“Is this a bad time to talk about refinancing our loan?”
Submitted by Twyman Towery
Mount Juliet, Tenn.

I entered...

"I guess donkey burgers are an acquired taste."

Dog Toy Painting Series ( Cat Toy )

It's been awhile since I did a Dog Toy Painting, and it's going to be awhile until I do another, but in the meantime, this one was done for my wife of our cat Monkey's favorite toy. I don't normally do toys that don't have faces, but most of her toys didn't. Monkey use to grab hold of this thing and tare the crap out of it!

F.U. Money

What would you do if you had so much money that you could say a big old "F U" to the world? This is what I would do...

We don't own a car at the moment, but if we need one, we rent one from City Car Share. It's like a regular rental car service only all of the cars have a crappy graphic on the side that basically says, "This isn't my car. I rented this, because I can't afford a car".


But when I get my F.U. money I'm going to buy the most expensive, impractical car money can buy and I'm painting that shitty logo on the side. I'll pull up next to people in real City Car Share cars and they'll think, "What?! How did you get that? I thought they only had VW bugs and PT Cruisers!"



But I won't be a total jerk. I will contact City Rental Car and allow them to actually rent my car out for the reasonable price of $2,000 a day, and I will give half of that money to charity and the other half I will spend on this one hat I want.

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.


"Good news! I won your skin back."



Here are the leftovers...

At least they didn't steal the radio.

God, how long have I been in there?

Let's meet up with the other three cowboys of the Apocalypse.

They got to get clocks in that saloon.








Here's this weeks nominees...




“Your availability comes off as desperation.”
Submitted by Shivonna Randazzo
Brooklyn, N.Y.

“You don't need to whisper—they're made of wax.”
Submitted by Sean Farrell
Los Angeles, Calif.

“What makes you think we found your cat story boring?”
Submitted by Lynn Tudor
New York, N.Y.

I entered...

"Would you like to tweet a prayer?"

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.



"I guess donkey burgers are an acquired taste."



Here's the leftovers...

Don't worry, you can always move back home with us.







Here are this weeks nominees...



"Her testosterone levels are through the roof."
Submitted by Doug Loynes
Dublin, Ohio

"I'm afraid he's started refusing all conditioners."
Submitted by Thomas van Geel
Natick, Mass.

"We were as shocked as you were that you’re a donor match."
Submitted by Annette Gasparon
Secane, Pa.

I entered...

"Your mother's rejecting the Estrogen."

Bettered!

Here's a fun thing... Next time you see a homemade sign at a local store, design a better version using as many of the original elements as possible. Send it to the store, tape it over the original, or email it to me and I'll "Better" it for you, and then you can proudly call out, "BOOM! You just got BETTERED!"

This is the sign that gave me the idea for "Bettered. Michele took this picture in the bathroom of our 2nd favorite Indian restaurants in Marin...



Boom! you just got BETTERED!

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.


"Would you like to tweet a prayer?"





Here are the leftovers...


Sure is nice to have dinner with friends.

The family that ignores each other together, stay together.

These are my closest friends, we’ve known of each other for years.

Best family reunion ever!

Your brother just IM’d you a question!

I'm so glad they don't allow smoking in restaurants anymore, it's so obnoxious.







Here's this weeks nominees...





"If you think this is annoying, just wait. In a few miles, they switch to binary."
Submitted by Kelly Ferguson
Los Osos, Calif.

"I heard they're part of a failed Italian space program."
Submitted by Melissa Guensler
Fredericksburg, Texas

"You know, a drive in this old open roadster sure does turn back the clock!"
Submitted by Dennis Sayers
Columbus, Ohio

I entered...

"They really need to update the speed limit around here."

This Weeks New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.


"Your mother's rejecting the Estrogen."







Here's the leftovers...

He's devolved quite a bit.

Good news, Robin Williams woke up from his coma.






Here's this week's nominees...




“O.K., counsellor, we heard your argument. Now tell us a story.”
Submitted by Fred Orelove
Richmond, Va.

“Five to four of us would like you to get the lights on your way out.”
Submitted by Robert Shay
Columbia, Mo.

“How long have you been standing there?”
Submitted by Evan Carrison
Chicago, Ill.


I entered...


"The court rests."

F.U. Money

What would you do if you had so much money that you could say a big old "F U" to the world? This is what I would do...

I'd buy a private plane and I'd call it, "The I Dare You God..."


That's right, as my hours cheating physics increased, so would my insurance that I am an unstoppable force in the universe, more powerful, more intelligent, and more famous then all things, including god...



Take that "God"! If that is your real name...




And if that doesn't kill me, I'm buying an experimental aircraft and calling it, " The Double or Nothing."

This Week's Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.



"They really need to update the speed limit around here."








Here are the leftovers...

This is where all the great sequels ideas came from.

These ruins are far too numerous to contemplate.

Remember we parked in Roman Numeral ten.

They have very high speed limits around here.









Here's this weeks nominees...




“So, which one of you varmints is mine?”
Submitted by Mark Esche
Leesburg, Fla.

“I've got to stop advertising for posses in the classifieds.”
Submitted by Jonah Parkin
Toronto, Ont.

“I reckon that rounding up the usual suspects just ain't what it used to be.”
Submitted by William Feltus
Colonial Heights, Va.

I entered...

"I'm gonna close my eyes and whoever stole my gun can put it on my desk."

Bettered!

Here's a fun thing... Next time you see a homemade sign at a local store, design a better version using as many of the original elements as possible. Send it to the store, tape it over the original, or email it to me and I'll "Better" it for you, and then you can proudly call out, "BOOM! You just got BETTERED!"

I saw this one in the raining month of January at Sketchfest.


BOOM! You just got BETTERED!!

If you're in the San Francisco area in January and you like sketch comedy, be sure to look up Sketchfest!

This Weeks New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.



"The court rests."





Here's the leftovers...


And what is the court's position on same sex marriage?

I'd like to address Supreme Court justice "Grumpy"














Here are this weeks nominees...



“The revolution has begun!”
Submitted by Jim Peterson
Petaluma, Calif.

“I finally got that desk job I’ve been looking at.”
Submitted by Carolyn Thon
San Mateo, Calif.

“I am telling you this guy is a micromanager.”
Submitted by Albert Ortega
Chapel Hill, N.C.

I entered...


It’s amazing how far blackmail can get you around here.

"Tracy" Screening March 6th

Our live action comedy "Tracy" will be screening in Detroit Michigan Saturday March 6 at 6 PM at the Burton Theater as part of the Detroit Independent Film Festival. If you live in the Detroit area stop by and check it out! Click here for info on how to get to the Burton Theater.

Dan

Covered

I did another comic cover for the website "Covered". It's a great site created by Robert Goodin, where artists do covers of old comic book covers.


Click here to see my take on X-men 94 on the covered website.

You can also click here to see my first edition to covered, X-men 1.



- Dan

Comics from Tracy

In our film "Tracy" we had a scene featuring one of the characters secret comic book collection. We created over 30 original comic book covers, most of which go completely unnoticed in the 3 to 4 minute scene.

Well, I'm sad to say we've reached the end. I think there are one or two that Brian Fee did that I can't find, so if I find them I'll post them, but in the mean time I think this is a fitting way to end. I did this one based on what I imagine the sad, lonely life of a real boy millionaire might be.



This would explain why Richie Rich killed himself and became Casper the Ghost.

Mo' money mo' problems...

Thanks for giving these props their moment in the sun! If you get the opportunity please check out our film, "Tracy".

- Dan

Comics from Tracy

In our film "Tracy" we had a scene featuring one of the characters secret comic book collection. We created over 30 original comic book covers, most of which go completely unnoticed in the 3 to 4 minute scene. For the next few months I'll post one a week so that they can finally get their due.

I did this one based on the comics from the 70's that I loved as a kid. They were already ten years old when I was reading them, but their shittiness was still relevant!

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.



"I'm gonna close my eyes and whoever stole my gun can put it on my desk."







Here are the left overs...



Is this the best posse we could roundup?

I knew one day the four of you would come looking for me.

We don't have enough shot guns for everybody, so the baby's going to have to bring a knife.

You got a lot of nerve showing your adorable faces around here.








Here are this week's nominees...



“I’m going to give you something for your humanity.”
Submitted by Anthony Griffin
Riverside, Calif.

“There’s a cure—but it’s light-years away.”
Submitted by Cody Walker
Ann Arbor, Mich.

“You won't have to drive to this clinic. Just wait in your cornfield.”
Submitted by Mike Jewett
Ashland, Ore.


I entered...
"You should schedule an abduction at least once a year."