Five Creepy Things Part 2

Here’s a list of five things that give me the creeps. See if you agree, or add something to the list .

1. Really Tall Old People.

When old people are really tall it makes them so much harder to ignore. They become a giant walking reminder of our painful, inevitable future.



2. Grown Men with Little Hands

I suffer from this one myself. There is something about a tiny baby doll hand at the end of a thick hairy arm that make me think of a poorly replicated M.C. Esher drawing.



3. Fat guys who play guitar.

I know in your mind you’re a rock god shred ’n away on your bitching axe, but to everyone else you’re a giant man delicately tickling what looks more like a flying v ukulele.


4. Classic Cartoon Characters with New Voices

Why does Kermit sound like Kermit’s cousin? Because Kermit’s suppose to be dead, so is Bugs Bunny, and Mickey Mouse. Instead they live on, like ungodly clones waiting to turn evil and kill the people that once loved them.



5. French Rap

The rap music is suppose to be tough, and the French language is suppose to be romantic. Together they are a de-clawed cat trying to disembowel your forearm with it’s harmless baby soft footsies; scary when you really thing about the intention, but cute and ticklish in the execution.

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.



"You haven’t heard of extreme indecisive sports?"






Here are the leftovers...

What do you want to do today? We’re up for anything.

He can’t decide on a major.

Let’s throw a bunch of crap at him, film it and put in on the internet.

It’s hard to know exactly which steroids to give him.


Here are this weeks nominees...



"Who would have thought they'd actually give money to a bank!"
Submitted by Michael Jensen
New Rochelle, N.Y.

"At the next bailout, let's also ask for a pony."
Submitted by Lynn Tudor
New York, N.Y.

"Did you send your thank-you card to Congress?"
Submitted by Harvey Kaslow
Pasadena, Calif.

I entered...

"I’ve taken all my money out of the market and I’m putting it in fountains."

Little Miss Sunshine

As many of you know I like to paint obnoxiously cute pictures of my tiny dog Carol. Well, I'm sad to say that this is the very last one I'm going to do...

THIS YEAR!

I drew the sketch for this painting of the baby lounging in the sunshine on hotel stationary while staying at the Hotel Amarano in Burbank during a work trip last week.


I had the canvas in my "man" bag, and an hour and a half to kill. It was either work on a painting or watch a third hour of "Dog the Bounty Hunter". I'm happy with the final product, but I'm sad to say I'll never get that extra hour of "Dog the Bounty Hunter" back.

This is the final painting.

More Carol paintings to come in 2009!

Christmas Cards

Here is this years Christmas card! Michele, Carol and I as the lovable, balding, weirdly intellectual children from Peanuts.

Happy Holidays from Caveat Productions!

Christmas Cards

Michele and I are trying to quickly come up with this years Christmas card. In the meantime I'll post some of the ones we've done in the past. This was last years card. It's good and creepy. I'll post our NEW one tomorrow just in time for Christmas Eve!

Happy Holidays!

Christmas Cards

Michele and I are trying to quickly come up with this years Christmas card. In the meantime I'll post some of the ones we've done in the past. This card was done the year we got our dog Carol. The joke was that we'd all be walleyed like she is, unfortunately people that didn't know us just thought we were a blind couple.

Happy Holidays!

This Weeks New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.


"I ordered that pureed."





Here are the leftovers...



Mom, is it true that I’m adopted?

Is there a hair on that worm?

Aren’t you at least going to chew that up and barf it in my mouth?

You’re late, give back the worm!


Here are this weeks nominees...




"We really need to revisit our immigration policy."
Submitted by Robert Marinai
Oakland, Calif.

"Ah, the innocence of youth."
Submitted by Steve Rappaport
Brooklyn, N.Y.

"Guess who's getting voted off the island."
Submitted by Michael Vorenberg
Barrington, R.I.

I entered...

"Why no long face?"

Better Looking Tracy Trailer

Thanks to Vimeo, we now have a much nicer looking version of the "Tracy" Trailer up online. Now you can really see the fake wigs and bad make up!!!


"Tracy" movie trailer from Dan Scanlon on Vimeo.

Christmas Cards

Michele and I are trying to quickly come up with this years Christmas card. In the meantime I'll post some of the ones we've done in the past. This 2004 card is the very first Christmas card Michele and I took together. What a lovely couple... of assholes.

Happy Holidays!

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.



"I’ve taken all my money out of the market and I’m putting it in fountains."




Here are the leftovers...


I kind of miss the corporate holiday mugs we use to get, cash is just so impersonal.

Apparently the economy isn’t doing well these days.

After I empty this wagon I’m going back for the toilet paper.

Thanks for telling me about this banks “Going out of Business Sale”

I wish I’d parked closer, or at least brought my gun.

As soon as I get home, this is going all over the bed, and I’m getting naked.





Here are this week's nominees...




"I'd suggest you keep them away from the gingerbread men."
Submitted by Vincent Coca
Staten Island, N.Y.

"It's not disturbing until someone wants to buy them by the ounce."
Submitted by Steve Arrowood
Oceanside, Calif.

"I did the choreography myself."
Submitted by Donovan Reeve
Ypsilanti, Mich.


I entered...

“They don’t taste very good, but they make a stunning garnish.”

Fun

Every Saturday I work on my film "Tracy". I've been working on it for 5 years, and I'm desperately trying to finish it up by the start of the new year. Today I'm very disappointed in myself for getting distracted and not working on it at all. Instead I made this...


Fun from Dan Scanlon on Vimeo.

I turned it into an advertisement for Tracy so I would feel like I accomplished something for the movie today.

Carol Christmas Card

Michele and I are trying to quickly come up with this years Christmas card. In the meantime I'll post some of the ones we've done in the past. I did this drawing of our dog Carol for our 2006 card.

Happy Holidays!

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.



"Why no long face?"







Here the leftovers...

So this must be your first day.

Sunscreen really makes all the difference.

I hate to tell you this Steve, but you’re adopted.

Have you had work done?

Erosion will wipe that grin off your face.




Here are this weeks nominees...

"I am useless until I have my morning turkey."
Submitted by Corey Lowney
Wappingers Falls, N.Y.

"I was actually hoping for a boy."
Submitted by Antonia Boyette
Los Angeles, Calif.

"I miss the cash bonuses."
Submitted by Robert Becker
Northford, Conn.




I entered...

"It’s bring your dinner to work day."

Sexy Sumo

Michele made her first short film a few weeks ago while I was out of town. I had no idea she was doing this other than she borrowed my camera and asked me how to use the editing program.

I have to say, I fall a little more in love every time I watch this...


Make sure to cast your vote after the film!

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.



“They don’t taste very good, but they make a stunning garnish.”


Here's the leftovers...


They make a great main chorus.

Please don’t tap on the glass.

They’re pretty good, but they have a slightly cheesy aftertaste.

Just make sure to cut off their little shoes before you eat them.

I can’t give you an exact 2 pounds because none of them will tell me their actual weight.

I would choose the one on your left, she's got that certain something.

I’ve eaten seven of these today, and now I feel sick.



Here are this weeks nominees...



"I can't say for sure, but I think the airline mixed up my luggage."
Submitted by Mark Ashton
Elmhurst, Ill.

"Remember the Alamo—now, that was a foreclosure!"
Submitted by David Blume
New York, N.Y.

"What makes you think I wouldn't be up for sushi?"
Submitted by Neal Svalstad
El Cajon, Calif.



I entered...

"Our dress code has been outsourced."

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.


"It’s bring your dinner to work day."







Here's the leftovers...


I have low blood sugar so I have to keep food with me at all times.

Can’t wait to take this home and carve a scary face into it.

Of coarse I’m not a narc! Now say that again into the turkey.

The severance package isn’t quite what I’d hoped.






This weeks nominees...




"Apparently, even the Fantastic Four can feel the pinch of the recession."
Submitted by Marlene Goodman
Wheeling, Ill.

"Please try not to stare at his disproportionately short right arm."
Submitted by Chas Kikel
Cleveland Heights, Ohio

"The first course has been described as a taste explosion."
Submitted by Chuck Skeens
Albuquerque, N.M.

I entered...

"The head chef use to be in the NBA."

Bug Zapper!

Check out this short by my friends Josh Cooley and Doug Cox called "Bug Zapper". Josh was left on my door step in early 2003, I raised him alone on my own breast milk and home made risotto. I'm very proud/jealous of the short film he and Doug made together.

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.



"Our dress code has been outsourced."






Here are the left overs...


Just 355 more days til Halloween!

Aren’t you going to ask me about my trip to Mexico?

This was an expensive Halloween costume, I’m gonna get my money’s worth.

Howdy law partner!


Here's this week's nominees....



"As a weasel, I need your vote."
Submitted by Mike Millner
Chapel Hill, N.C.

"Read my lips—no new taxidermy."
Submitted by Eric Kneedler
Bethesda, Md.

"O.K., who pooped on the lectern?"
Submitted by Michael Morris
New Haven, Conn.


I entered...

"It is with great sadness that I offer my concession to the incumbent ruler of the forest, Rollo the Bear King."

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.



"The head chef use to be in the NBA."





Here are the leftover ideas...



The chef was placed under kitchen arrest

This restaurant uses the latest in Nuclear energy to prepare their food.

Is my cologne too strong?

The food is Asian fusion and the atmosphere is Surrealist.




Here are this weeks nominees...




"It feels good to get out of the museum for a night."
Submitted by Frank Campanella
New York, N.Y.

"No, no—you're the archeologist this time!"
Submitted by Eric Reid
Natick, Mass.

"This should keep Emily from running to our bed every time she has a bad dream."
Submitted by Sami Haque
Carol Stream, Ill.

I entered...


"I just can’t sleep comfortably ever since we were raided."

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.


"It is with great sadness that I offer my concession to the incumbent ruler of the forest, Rollo the Bear King."




Here's my one and only very stupid left over...


"I'm a true Washington outsider."


(GET IT! I Can't wait for this election to be finished, I hate topical political humor.)



Speaking of which, here are this weeks nominees...





"Looks like another ye olde stimulus package."
Submitted by John Burke
Park Ridge, Ill.

"Things haven't been the same since we began electing our kings."
Submitted by Jay Mackro
San Juan Capistrano, Calif.

"After seven hundred billion for the nobles, it was the least we could do."
Submitted by Rich Brown
Tampa, Fla.

I entered...

"This is going over much better than the boiling hot water."

Hot Amateur Video (Halloween Edition)

I've been inspired by my friend Steve Purcell's recent blog series "High School Confidential" which feature some of his sweetly naive, yet strangely charming early artwork, to post some of my high school / college films and videos. It's a little embarrassing how technically amateurish these projects are, but perhaps slightly more embarrassing, how much more creative some of them are than the projects I'm doing now.

Happy Halloween! This is the last of the amateur High school films that I'll be posting anytime soon, and I've saved the most over ambitious, confusing, awkwardly violent for last. Happy Halloween!

"Andy"

By Dan Scanlon

1994

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.


"I just can’t sleep comfortably ever since we were raided."




Here are the leftovers...


The Viagra should kick in any minute now.

I still can’t believe that’s the lamp you chose for the after life.

That reminds me, we’re out of toilet paper.

Don’t worry, I’m wearing protection.

I should probably tell you I stalk in my sleep.

Oh no, I just dropped the remote!

Good morning Mummy, I slept pharaohly well last night considering you kept me up with all your coffin!

So hard to have a good night sleep when someone forgets to draw a box spring and frame for your bed.




Here is this weeks nominees...




"Come sweater season, you'll be back."
Submitted by Travis Gosselin
Chicago, Ill.

"You're the one who left your fertility drugs on the counter."
Submitted by Andy Wehrley
New York, N.Y.

"Could you bring me back a goat?"
Submitted by Clif Dickens
Lexington, Ky.

I entered...

"I can’t believe you’re leaving me with the kids!"


Okay, I admit I'm really ashamed of myself on this one. I've been taking the safe bet lately, and choosing the most "Tonight Show" friendly jokes I can think of, but I think that's the wrong way to get nominated. This weeks nominees are much better than my obvious choice. Gotta go with my heart from now on!

Hot Amateur Videos!

I've been inspired by my friend Steve Purcell's recent blog series "High School Confidential" which feature some of his sweetly naive, yet strangely charming early artwork, to post some of my high school / college films and videos. It's a little embarrassing how technically amateurish these projects are, but perhaps slightly more embarrassing, how much more creative some of them are than the projects I'm doing now.

I made this short right after finishing a very ambitious two year full color cel animated project. I wanted to make something very quick in response to the other long project. I did this one in two months, on typing paper, with ink and a blue colored pencil and I have to say it came out much better than the two year project, which is an unwatchable, incoherent mess, about Halloween, so needless to say I'll post that one next week!


"On the Front Lawn"

a film by
Dan Scanlon
1994

Real dog, or Muppet?

Carol sure is cute, but she should probably learn to chew her food like a lady, with her mouth closed.

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.



"This is going over much better than the boiling hot water."




Here's the leftovers...

Don’t worry, it’s American money, it’s not worth anything.

The king likes to make it rain!




Here are last weeks nominees...




"The ratatouille is good today. I am the owner and I approve this message."
Submitted by Jean Pyle
Hawthorne, N.J.


"What's your stance on first-date sex? You have two minutes to respond."
Submitted by Frank Campanella
New York, N.Y.


"And, if you elect me, all Americans will be able to choose soup and salad!"
Submitted by Peter LaMassa
Massapequa Park, N.Y.


I entered...

"After the initial presentation there will be a short slide show out lining all of our possible sex options for tonight."

Hot Amateur Videos!

I've been inspired by my friend Steve Purcell's recent blog series "High School Confidential" which feature some of his sweetly naive, yet strangely charming early artwork, to post some of my high school / college films and videos. It's a little embarrassing how technically amateurish some of these projects are, but perhaps slightly more embarrassing, how much more creative some of them are than the projects I'm doing now.

Sometimes one must be separated from the things one truly loves, even if it's ones two hands. This film represents the good old days when short movies didn't have to be about anything. I think I truly long for those days now.

"Wood Chips"
a film by
Dan Scanlon and Tom Mader
1995

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.



"I can’t believe you’re leaving me with the kids!"





Here's the leftovers...

What got your goat!

Fine leave, but don’t come crawling back to me when you want more cheese!

Would this be a bad time to tell you that I’m thinking of getting another goat.

Are you leaving because of all the goats we have that eat all our furniture?

Oh sure, blame the goats for everything!





Here is this weeks nominees...





"Relax, she prefers dachshunds."
Submitted by Chas Kikel
Cleveland Heights, Ohio

"Let's just say it attracts a more interesting type of woman."
Submitted by Rosi Kaufman
Praire Village, Kans.

"Don't look now, but I believe your snake is strangling that dog."
Submitted by Samantha Church
Chicago, Ill.


I entered...


"He curls up at my feet at the end of each day and tries to squeeze the life out of me."

Hot Amateur Videos!

I've been inspired by my friend Steve Purcell's recent blog series "High School Confidential" which feature some of his sweetly naive, yet strangely charming early artwork, to post some of my high school / college films and videos. It's a little embarrassing how technically amateurish some of these projects are, but perhaps slightly more embarrassing, how much more creative some of them are than the projects I'm doing now.

I made this video at the Columbus College of Art and Design for an assignment called "The Chase". I could only get one friend to help me which was difficult considering it had to be a chase scene. It was made more difficult when my ONE friend injured his knee a few days before the shoot and was confined to crutches, this is what we came up with.

The Chase
Dan Scanlon
1998






My hats off to Steve Geer, who did all that falling down with a crappy knee! That's a true friend.

Vote no on 8

This is a great short PSA about California's Proposition 8, also known as the gay marriage ban, created and animated by my co-worker, the talented Adrian Molina.

Hot Amateur Videos!

I've been inspired by my friend Steve Purcell's recent blog series "High School Confidential" which feature some of his sweetly naive, yet strangely charming early artwork, to post some of my high school / college films and videos. It's a little embarrassing how technically amateurish some of these projects are, but perhaps slightly more embarrassing, how much more creative some of them are than the projects I'm doing now.

This was the pencil test for my final animation project at the Columbus College of Art and Design. It wouldn't be a college animation project, without someone losing a limb or two.


"Rocket Boy"
Dan Scanlon
1998

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.



"After the initial presentation there will be a short slide show out lining all of our possible sex options for tonight."





Here's the leftovers...

Did I mention I’m talking a public speaking class?

I’m an auctioneer, and I had to come straight from work.

Would you like our special “Dinning Alone Menu”?

Wow, picturing the audience in their underwear really isn’t making things easier in this case.



And here's this weeks nominees







"So Why did you leave Red Lobster?"*

"I guess we have a deal, but we don't have to shake on it."

"So you think you're ready for the corner tank?"


I entered...

"I’ve looked over your resume and qualification, and I’m happy to say that I’ve chosen you to be my dinner."

* My first leftover caption was...

"May I ask why you left Red Lobster?"

Guess that was the obvious one.

Dan's Found Caricature

Every now and then one finds a picture, photo, plant or mineral that looks just like one's self. This is the last of this month's found caricatures that look like me. Please let me know when you find them successful, or when you think they’re crap.

















This is Scott Adsit, he plays a producer on NBC's 30 rock, I love the show,but I have to admit he's my least favorite part of the show, mainly because he looks like me, and apparently I hate myself. We'll that's it for the September found caricatures, I hope you enjoyed them, hopefully they'll be more to come in the future!

Dan

Hot Amateur Videos!

I've been inspired by my friend Steve Purcell's recent blog series "High School Confidential" which feature some of his sweetly naive, yet strangely charming early artwork, to post some of my high school / college films and videos. It's a little embarrassing how technically amateurish some of these projects are, but perhaps slightly more embarrassing, how much more creative some of them are than the projects I'm doing now.

While most kids in Michigan where spending their 18th birthday buy cigarettes, going to Canadian strip clubs, and voting republican I spent my 18th shooting this film at and amazing local Michigan film workshop called Focal Point. Every student had one week to write, direct, and edit a short film and debut it to friends and family on the last day of the workshop. My good friends Justin Allen and Matt Cantu helped me bring to life this moving love story about an insane woodsmen and his love for a free spirited young man/woman.































"Die Fingen in Meinen Apfelsope"
a film by Dan Scanlon and Justin Allen
1994

* Update!

Wow, so this film was actually taken down by UMG for having the song "Falling in Love Again" as sung by writer William S. Burroughs . I'm actually kind of shocked, last I checked kids were cutting all sorts of crappy videos to unlicensed pop music on youtube, I thought that's what it was for. Oh well, I guess Will's drunken German version of this nearly 70 year old song is pretty popular stuff.

Hope you saw it when it was posted.

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.
















"He curls up at my feet at the end of each day and tries to squeeze the life out of me."




And here's the leftovers...

We can’t have dogs in our building.

My wife’s allergic to pet hair.

We no longer have a problem with mice or capybara in our apartment.

If he bites you, you have 5 minutes to live, but at least he doesn’t bark.

It’s a really great way to pick up crazy chicks.

He loves dogs, but he just ate like two of them yesterday.




And here's this weeks New Yorker nominees...





















"The heating system is pretty old but reliable."

"I strongly recommend that you read the fine print on this one."

"The seller is extremely motivated."

I entered...

"It's a sinner's market."