Monday, December 17, 2012

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this week's New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.




"I still don't think global warming is real."

Leftovers...

Let's just call it a tie.

At least we beat the tourist season.






This Week's Nominees...


"I am from Doctors Without Offices."
Submitted by David Kempler,
Plainview, N.Y. 

"Now I'm getting a signal."
Submitted by Heather Rose Dominic,
New York, N.Y.

"Bad news: you've got four blocks to live."
Submitted by Ed Geis,
Portland, Ore.

I entered...

"Okay, let's move on to the prostate exam."




Monday, December 10, 2012

New Yorker Caption Contest


Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.




"But wait, I think I saw a college fund in there too!"




This week's nominees...




"What happened to your goldfish?"
Submitted by Mark Scheier,
Acton, Mass.

"It looks like Ted is out of gumballs. Meeting adjourned."
Submitted by Mark Hoehner,
Kensington, Calif.

"I miss you, too, Aunt Maude, but we were hoping to speak with Mr. Jobs."
Submitted by Brian Throckmorton,
Lexington, Ky.

I entered...
"If you don't have an idea could you please turn that off?"

Monday, December 03, 2012

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this week's New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.



"Okay, let's move on to the prostate exam."







Here are the leftovers...

 Let's head in here and get a live stool.

 Just 23 more hours of this.

Can I interest you in life insurance?














This week's nominees...


"Crazy people have sat in yours."
Submitted by Jana McClain,
Carnation, Wash.

"Well, I have to go—my ride is here."
Submitted by Luam Melake,
New York, N.Y. 

"Are there two guys with a couch following me or am I imagining it?"
Submitted by Mary Ann Fitze,
Long Beach, Calif.

I entered...
"Seems we have more work to do on my Kleptomania."


Monday, November 26, 2012

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contesst

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.


"If you don't have an idea could you please turn that off?"



Here are the leftovers...

Any bright ideas?

Don't say "gum balls" again.

I can see right through you.

No pressure.








This week's nominations...



"One thing led to another."
Submitted by Joseph Merrill,
St. Paul, Minn.   

"He's not finished."
Submitted by D. G. Rogers,
Spokane, Wash.

"He makes me feel young again."
Submitted by Elliott Goldkind,
Los Angeles, Calif.

I entered...
"Doing puzzles helps me sleep."

Monday, November 19, 2012

New Yorker Caption Contest


Here is my entry in this week's New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.



"Seems we have more work to do on my Kleptomania."




Here are the leftovers...

I think we're really making progress on my germ phobia.

You were right, I did need to take my treatment into my daily life.






This week's nominees...




"Frankly, Sheila, I find this the most awkward part of our divorce agreement."
Submitted by Ronald Rubin,
Topanga, Calif.

"I hate our therapist." 
Submitted by Jorn Earl Otte,
Mount Hope, W.Va.

"I have the same exact dog." 
Submitted by Steven Baumholtz,
Pleasant Valley, N.Y.

I entered...
"Squatter's rights."

Monday, November 12, 2012

The Week's New Yorker Caption Contest


Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.

"Doing puzzles helps me sleep."



Here are the leftovers...


I knew you'd eventually connect the dots.

I'm getting you back for doing the crossword.

At least he challenges me!


This Week's Nominees...



"I'm up here."
Submitted by Jake Lane,
Dobbs Ferry, N.Y.

"I think the hormones are kicking in." 
Submitted by Eugene L. Morgulis,
Boston, Mass.

"Don't laugh—it got my uncle out of the Army." 
Submitted by Ric Teller, 
Santa Clarita, Calif.


I entered...
"I don't care what holiday follows I still like Halloween."


Tuesday, November 06, 2012

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this week's New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.


"Squatter's rights."





Here are the leftovers...

My dog smells your dog.

And you thought the break up would be awkward.

They're really cracking down on the leash laws.

You put half in your bag, I'll put half in mine.

I do not tell you how to do everything. 




This week's nominees...




"You're in luck! It's cannabis."
Submitted by Rick Adolph,
Naples, Fla.

"Are you here for your annual or your perennial?"
Submitted by Pete Critelli,
Kailua-Kona, Hawaii

"Just get plenty of water and sunlight."
Submitted by Erik Mintz,
Bronx, N.Y.

I entered...

"The good news is they'll definitely name this after you." 

Monday, October 22, 2012

New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.



"I don't care what holiday follows I still like Halloween."




Here are the leftovers...

They can't kill you if they think you're crazy.

I'm genetically engineered. 






This Week's Nominees...


"Can't you just ignore the polls on this one and go with your instinct?"
Submitted by Paul Olson,
Boston, Mass.
"Let's face it. One side of the bed consistently outperforms the other."
Submitted by Brian Alexander,
Brooklyn, N.Y.

"Sometimes I wish you would keep your performance targets to yourself."
Submitted by J. Ott,
Los Angeles, Calif.

I entered...
"And I thought kissing babies helped."

Friday, October 19, 2012

The New Yorker Caption Contest


Here is my entry in this week's New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.




"The good news is they'll definitely name this after you." 

Here are the leftovers...

I'm gonna keep you here until you pass the three magic beans.

Make that a seedless apple a day.

You just have to make it to fall.

I think we're going to have to induce blooming.


This week's nominations....






"The window cleaner brings a pastry."
Submitted by Debbie Bogenschutz,

Ludlow, Ky.

"Career-wise, my mistake was misunderstanding the term 'Wall Street guru.' "
Submitted by Ken Alexander,

Culver City, Calif.

"Meaning of Life is at the top. This is Meaning of Beatlers Lyrics."
Submitted by Ira Marlowe, Berkeley, Calif.


I entered...
 "Sorry, the line starts at the elevator."

Saturday, October 13, 2012

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest


Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.



"And I thought kissing babies helped."



Here are the leftovers...


And the poles are in!

Yeah, it doesn't look good. 



This Week's Nominees...




"Come on! Do you have any idea how long it took to get through the turnstiles?"
Submitted by Michael Briddon,
Cambridge, Mass.

"Sheep Meadow? No, we wanna see the 'Seinfeld' diner."
Submitted by Jon Bander,
Astoria, N.Y.

"For your information, I have a client who has a lot of trouble sleeping."
Submitted by Richard Lee,
 Santa Monica, Calif.

I entered...
"Can we bring food on the train?"

Thursday, October 04, 2012

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest


Here is my entry in this week's New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.


"Sorry, the line starts at the elevator."



Leftovers...

You smoke?





Here's this week's nominees...







"Your slogan should be 'Rest assured. My wife will do it.' "
Submitted by Pam Cleveland, 
Placentia, Calif.

"Your speechwriter wants to know if you prefer 'inexhaustible' or 'unrelenting.' "
Submitted by Kevin Dorse,
Ottawa, Ontario

"Your constituent called."
Submitted by Wally Hayman,
 Gladwyne, Pa.

I entered...
"You'd better leave my husband's coming home."

Thursday, September 27, 2012

The New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.



"Can we bring food on the train?"




Here's the leftovers...

You're all sheep!

Hey buddy, no bicycles in the front car!






This week's nominations...

"Quick, before Bloomberg bans it!"
Submitted by Rita Costanzo,
Staten Island, N.Y.

"When."
Submitted by Victoria Y. Rice,
New York, N.Y.

"Best decaf in town, Dolores."
Submitted by Krista Van Wart, 
Brooklyn, N.Y.


I entered...
"Nobody pours a cup of Four Loko like you Deb."

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this week's New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.






"You'd better leave my husband's coming home."



Here's the leftovers...


I'm not taking that to the grocery store.

Don't you even want to know what you're voting on today?

You could always start a band called "Walter Gruenby".

How about, "For sale on ebay"?


Here's this week's nominations...



"They keep watch on the offshore accounts."
Submitted by Michael Vorenberg, Barrington, R.I.

"They used to face left."
Submitted by Jeffrey Hutchins, Black Mountain, N.C.

"Fortunately, they only cover one per cent of the island."
Submitted by Tod Goldberg, Indio, Calif.

I entered...
"We feel they make a stronger statement than the usual campaign lawn signs." 


Monday, September 10, 2012

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest



Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.


"Nobody pours a cup of Four Loko like you Deb."











Here's this week's nominees...



"I think my wife is having us tailed."
Submitted by Marianne L. Kelly
 Lancaster, Pa.

"I know I was having trouble finding it, but this is a little extreme."
Submitted by Gabriel Eiger
 North Bend, Wash.

"I'll take it from here, Marlowe."
Submitted by Bill Binger
Alta, Utah
I entered...
"I think your husband is having us followed."

Tuesday, September 04, 2012

The New Yorker Caption Contest


Here is my entry in this week's New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.


"We feel they make a stronger statement than the usual campaign lawn signs." 



Here's the leftovers...

We dress them up every Halloween.

Better here than Mount Rushmore.




Here's this week's nominees...



"I just don't care that much about Medicare anymore."
Submitted by David S. Goodman, Cleveland Heights, Ohio

"He's pro-afterlife."
Submitted by Robert Huffman, Stafford, Va.

"I hear he forged his death certificate."
Submitted by Tom Pierce, Louisville, Ky.

I entered...
"I thought they were all down there."

Monday, August 27, 2012

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest


Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.
"I think your husband is having us followed."

Here are the leftovers...

I brought protection.

I told you I had a Private Dick.




Here's this week's nominees...





"Any stiffness?"
Submitted by Ryan Scott Misener
 Tampa, Fla.

"Sorry about the wait."
Submitted by Bob Howard
 Eugene, Ore.

"Any family history with death?" 
Submitted by Stephanie Nilva
New York, N.Y.

I entered...
"Since your last visit it looks like you've lost 21 grams."

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks The New York Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.

"I thought they were all down there."



Here are the leftovers...

Oh now he wants health care reform.

Here's this week's nominees...




"Worst internship ever."
Submitted by Mike Tringale, 
Washington, D.C.

"Golden parachute, my ass."
Submitted by George D. Mulligan,
Ardmore, Pa.

"If I go, page 4 of our report goes with me."
Submitted by Robert B. Pierce,
Oberlin, Ohio

I entered...
"I meant let's "figuratively" go out on a ledge."

Tuesday, August 07, 2012

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.



"Since your last visit it looks like you've lost 21 grams."



Here are the leftovers...

Looks like your cholesterol is no longer a problem.





Here are this week's nominees...



"You can tell the judge why you were doing CX in an XXV."
Submitted by Brian MagaƱa,
Bainbridge Island, Wash.

"No, really. Your chariot awaits."
Submitted by Anne Bruns,
 Manassas, Va.

"I am Spartacab."
Submitted by Alan Farkas, 
Los Angeles, Calif.

I entered... 
"Look, if you left the bar with me you clearly shouldn't be driving."

Thursday, August 02, 2012

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest



Here is my entry in this weeks The New York Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.


"I meant let's "figuratively" go out on a ledge."











And this week's nominees...




"The hairs on my chinny chin chin got caught in your damn escalator."
Submitted by Claudia McGoldrickCape
May Court House, N.J.

"Whenever I eat an apple, everyone assumes that I'm dead." Submitted by Bill KesslerLos 
Angeles, Calif.

"Stop sending me spam!"Submitted by Sean Lynch
Brooklyn, N.Y.


I entered...
"Somebody went wee wee wee all over the men's room."


Monday, July 23, 2012

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest


Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.


"Look, if you left the bar with me you clearly shouldn't be driving."




Here are the leftovers...

This isn't just a halloween costume, this is a lifestyle.

My ride still has that new horse smell. 



Here are this weeks nominations...



"Quit joking, you guys, and grab my legs again."
Submitted by Philip Ratcliff
Cloverdale, Calif.

"No, it's true. Walking, I move incredibly slow."
Submitted by Nick Jones
Los Angeles, Calif.

"That rabbit has no idea who he was messing with."
Submitted by Amazis Solomon
San Francisco, Calif.

I entered...
"Mom says she has something important to tell me when we get home."

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest


Here is my entry in this weeks The New York Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.




"Somebody went wee wee wee all over the men's room."





Here are the leftovers...

Well why do you even sell straw houses then?





Here are this week's nominees...

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."
Submitted by Adam Hackbarth
O'Fallon, Mo.

"This week we'll delve a little deeper than 'Because it's there,' Mr. Mallory."
Submitted by Dianna Orr
Huntington Beach, Calif.

"You're in luck! My three-o'clock seems to have fallen off the face of the earth."
Submitted by Alex Rose
Wellesley, Mass.

I entered...

"My last appointment fell off, I mean through."

Wednesday, July 04, 2012

The New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.

"Mom says she has something important to tell me when we get home."


Here are the leftovers...

This is gonna freak out that fox.






Here are this week's nominees...




"I have to warn you, I don't exactly have a bladder of steel."
Submitted by Laurie Graham
Springfield, Va.

"I'm always amazed these things actually fly."
Submitted by Ralph Schwartz
Bellingham, Wash.

"I feel like we've gotten a little soft, Lex."
Submitted by Todd Rosenberg
Brooklyn, N.Y.

I entered...

"Give me a break, I'm over 70 years-old."

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