"He curls up at my feet at the end of each day and tries to squeeze the life out of me."
And here's the leftovers...
We can’t have dogs in our building.
My wife’s allergic to pet hair.
We no longer have a problem with mice or capybara in our apartment.
If he bites you, you have 5 minutes to live, but at least he doesn’t bark.
It’s a really great way to pick up crazy chicks.
He loves dogs, but he just ate like two of them yesterday.
And here's this weeks New Yorker nominees...
"The heating system is pretty old but reliable."
"I strongly recommend that you read the fine print on this one."
"The seller is extremely motivated."
I entered...
"It's a sinner's market."
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