The New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.

"Mom says she has something important to tell me when we get home."

Here are the leftovers...

This is gonna freak out that fox.

Here are this week's nominees...

"I have to warn you, I don't exactly have a bladder of steel."
Submitted by Laurie Graham
Springfield, Va.

"I'm always amazed these things actually fly."
Submitted by Ralph Schwartz
Bellingham, Wash.

"I feel like we've gotten a little soft, Lex."
Submitted by Todd Rosenberg
Brooklyn, N.Y.

I entered...

"Give me a break, I'm over 70 years-old."

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks The New York Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.

"My last appointment fell off, I mean through."

Here are the leftovers...

Would you mind whipping your feet?

Here are this week's nominees...

“You promised me you would stop after you lost your arm from that paper cut!”
Submitted by Andrew Lane
Natick, Mass.

“You realize a seven-foot diary is fair game.”
Submitted by Jim McClellan
Greenbrae, Calif.

“I'm surprised you can ghostwrite for him. I've only heard him say, ‘Fee fi fo fum.’ "
Submitted by Joy Hanek
Vacaville, Calif.

I entered...

"Just admit you need glasses!"

The New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.

"Give me a break, I'm over 70 years-old."

Here are the leftovers...

It's cold out there.

I'm not good with directions.

I like the peanuts. 

Well, this is my stop.

No, I'm not an Air Marshall!

Here's this week's nominees...

"Yes, I asked very politely. But he still says the rest room in there is for employees only."
Submitted by Michael Skocpol
Washington, D.C.

“I feel we should rethink our immigration policy.”
Submitted by Mike Hagerty
North Hollywood, Calif.

“Ask again if anyone turned in a phone.”
Submitted by John David Burke
Park Ridge, Ill.

I entered...

"One more day and I'm eating the tollbooth guy. " 

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks The New York Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.

 "Just admit you need glasses!"

Here's the leftovers...

 Sometimes I think you want me to find your journal.



Here's this week's nominees...

 

"As an icebreaker, let's all share one interesting thing about ourselves. I'll start."
Submitted by Bob Low
Lakewood Ranch, Fla.

  

"To illustrate how couples come to look alike, this is my wife."
Submitted by Bob Howard
Eugene, Ore. 

“Please hold your applause—there are eighteen more minutes of this.”
Submitted by Gabriel Gomes
Las Vegas, Nev.

I entered..

"Skip this one."

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.

"One more day and I'm eating the tollbooth guy. " 

Here are the leftovers....


I hope they validate.  

This neighborhood's changed.

I hope that rescue boat has the right parking stickers.

I Finally feel safe.


Here are this week's nominees...

 "They're trying to attract a younger crowd."
Submitted by John W. Jones
Arlington, Va.

"Which sounds faster: 'clip-clop, clip-clop' or 'clippety-clop'?"
Submitted by Luke McNeill
Arlington, Mass.

"And they said my career was over after 'The Godfather.' "
Submitted by Brad Stratton
Franklin, Wis.

I entered...

"We now return to the new season of HBO's "Luck"."

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks The New York Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.

"Skip this one."

Here's the leftovers...

Did I intend to include this slide in the presentation? Let's go with yes.

Here's this week's nominees...

"And the worst part is this isn't my luggage."

Submitted by Kevin J. KilleenOld Bridge, N.J.

"Stop complaining. I can be used as a flotation device."

Submitted by David ZasloffValley Village, Calif.

"Help me get under the seat for takeoff."

Submitted by Gary CrockettChevy Chase, Md.

I entered...

"I'm trying to get under the seat in front of me!"

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.

"We now return to the new season of HBO's "Luck"."

Here's this week's nominees...

"He's the advertising executive. Let him come up with a caption."
Submitted by Bev Shortess
Spotsylvania, Va.

"Take the commission, hon, and you can paint full time."
Submitted by Tom Navratil
Bethesda, Md.

"What kind of Neanderthal uses vodka instead of gin?"
Submitted by Tim Paradis
New London, N.H

I entered...

"I thought his cave would be nicer."

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks The New York Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.

"I'm trying to get under the seat in front of me!"

Here are the leftovers...

You've got to be prepared for anything.

I use to wear a fanny pack, but those look so dumb.

Here's this week's nominees...

“But, honey, I just ate.”
Submitted by Chris Gordon
Belfast, Maine

“When is it ever a good time to break up?”
Submitted by Jennifer Chapman
Elk Grove, Calif.

“Where am I going to get the four million shrimp for the ransom?”
Submitted by Les Michalak
Burlington, Ont.

I entered...

"Careful, you just ate!"

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.

"I thought his cave would be nicer."

Here are the leftovers...

Would you mind asking your guest to remove his shoes?

That's how you use ALL of the buffalo. 

It's not you, it's him.

Here's this week's nominees...

"When they said, 'Take us to your leader,' I don't think they meant your mother's house."
Submitted by Sally Anne Groomes
Bethlehem, Pa.

"I don't care what planet they are from, they can pass on the left like everyone else."
Submitted by Justin Sather
Oswego, Ill.

"Which finger do I use for aliens?"
Submitted by Zachary Yanez
Houston, Texas

I entered...

"Whatever you do don't tell the spacemen we've been doing drugs."

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks The New York Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.

"Careful, you just ate!"

Here are the leftovers...

And you were worried about the undertow.

This weeks nominees...

“My sister’s coming over. You could at least throw on a slipcover.”


Submitted by Karen Parker


Troy, Mich.

“I’ve decided to redecorate.”


Submitted by Dina Berg

Lakewood Ranch, Fla.

“And to think I could have married an Eames chair!”


Submitted by Michael Jones

Evanston, Ill.

I entered...

"I should have married that riding mower.

this Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.



"Whatever you do don't tell the spacemen we've been doing drugs."

Here are the leftovers...

This guys up my ass.

Great another SUV UFO.









This week's nominees...






“This particular species is believed to have travelled in troupes.”
Submitted by Curtis Williams
Los Angeles, Calif.

“They hated each other when they were alive.”
Submitted by Barry Friedman
Tulsa, Okla.

“We have some very promising new theories about why they became extinct.”
Submitted by William Peek
Locust Valley, N.Y.

I entered...

"We found these deep in the Catskills."

this Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.


"I should have married that riding mower."






Here are the leftovers...


What happened to the love seat I married?

You can't even fold out into a bed anymore.






Here's this week's nominees...




"Worst fifty bucks I ever spent."
Submitted by Stefan Martula
Houston, Texas

“Trust me. They like experienced.”
Submitted by George McCarthy
Swarthmore, Pa.

“So much for a safe word.”
Submitted by Lane B. Fike
Philadelphia, Pa

I entered...

"They're in her purse next to my head."

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.


"We found these deep in the Catskills."






Here are the leftovers...


I think they're "prehysterical"!

How do you know this is "wrong"?

Television killed the dinosaurs.

You have a better explanation for the giant hats we found?







Here are the nominees...




“Your tattoo escaped.”
Submitted by Mike Druhan
Mobile, Ala.

“Don’t look at me. I wanted a Portuguese water dog.”
Submitted by Elizabeth Cannon
Elmwood Park, Ill.

“Marco!”
Submitted by Michael Albertson
Sunnyside, N.Y.

I entered...

"I think the chlorine levels are off again."

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.


"They're in her purse next to my head."



Here are the leftovers...

I think my wives cheating on me with another guy.

Better than being single.

Looks like somebody got lucky last night.





This week's nominees...



“I keep forming inappropriate attachments.”
Submitted by Stan Kantrowitz
Los Angeles, Calif.

“Just how revealing are ink blots?”
Submitted by Kathleen Hurwitz
Murrieta, Calif.

“You’re right. Maybe sometimes a sea cucumber is just a sea cucumber.”
Submitted by Julian Hirst
New York, N.Y.

I entered...

"I'm sure you hear this all the time."

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.


"I think the chlorine levels are off again."






Here's the leftovers...


We need a pool toy that doesn't scare the kids.

The sun is the second cause of pool related death.


Here's this week's nominees...



"Botox."
Submitted by Steven Frucht
New York, N.Y.

"Looks like a culture of denial."
Submitted by Terence Krista
Richmond, Calif.

"Believe me, it's what's under the ground that's most interesting."
Submitted by Webb Harris
Winter Springs, Fla.

I entered...
Welcome to "Stoned-henge".

this Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.



"I'm sure you hear this all the time."






Here are the leftovers...


I'm boring you aren't I?

I just don't feel like myself today.

I was never comfortable in my own skin, so this is way better.






Here are the Nominees...




“The goatee looked dumb on its own.”
Submitted by Erik Doughty
Colts Neck, N.J.

“Oddly enough, it's the Capri pants that I hear about the most."
Submitted by Andrew Tripp
Raleigh, N.C.

“Let's just say I thought I had one wish left.”
Submitted by Kathy Mathews
Frankfort, Ill.

I entered...

"The tech guy said our department needed more ram."

This week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.


Welcome to "Stoned-henge".








Here's this week's nominees...




“If he can dust with it, I might be impressed.”
Submitted by Terri Lewis
Denver, Colo.

"Evolution can be so tacky."
Submitted by Topf Wells
Madison, Wis.

"He's had work."
Submitted by Brendan Powers
Ithaca, N.Y.

I entered...

"Those are fake."

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.


"The tech guy said our department needed more ram."







This week's nominees...



“On a clear day, I can get Santa Fe on the antenna.”
Submitted by Michael Murray
Toronto, Ont.

"At the next canyon, I'll show you why."
Submitted by David Hagemeier
Arden Hills, Minn.

“Nope, it's not a new haircut. Try again.”
Submitted by Alec Anderson
Ann Arbor, Mich.

I entered...
"I'm going deep under cover."

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.


"Those are fake."







Here's the leftovers:


Someone's been hanging around the nuclear power plant.

So she's in color, but she's not HD.






Here's this weeks nominees...




"Why don't you get the coffee this morning?"
Submitted by Earl Schmitter
Concord, Calif.

“Don't think I didn't hear you come in last night.”
Submitted by Jeffrey Ainis
Monrovia, Calif.

“So your biggest concern is my pronunciation of the word ‘crevasse’?”
Submitted by Brent Sheppard
Morganton, N.C.

I entered...

"We need to talk about your snoring."

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.


"I'm going deep under cover."






Here are the leftovers...

This town is too big for the two of us Sheriff.



Here are this week's nominees...





“Beware the hidden service charge.”
Submitted by Eric Goldberg
Everett, Wash.

“No one attacks quite like the French.”
Submitted by David Kempler
Island Park, N.Y.

“You have any small bills?”
Submitted by Latif Jamani
Calgary, Alberta

I entered...

"Anyone order a Greek salad?"