This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.

"I thought his cave would be nicer."

Here are the leftovers...

Would you mind asking your guest to remove his shoes?

That's how you use ALL of the buffalo. 

It's not you, it's him.

Here's this week's nominees...

"When they said, 'Take us to your leader,' I don't think they meant your mother's house."
Submitted by Sally Anne Groomes
Bethlehem, Pa.

"I don't care what planet they are from, they can pass on the left like everyone else."
Submitted by Justin Sather
Oswego, Ill.

"Which finger do I use for aliens?"
Submitted by Zachary Yanez
Houston, Texas

I entered...

"Whatever you do don't tell the spacemen we've been doing drugs."

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks The New York Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.

"Careful, you just ate!"

Here are the leftovers...

And you were worried about the undertow.

This weeks nominees...

“My sister’s coming over. You could at least throw on a slipcover.”


Submitted by Karen Parker


Troy, Mich.

“I’ve decided to redecorate.”


Submitted by Dina Berg

Lakewood Ranch, Fla.

“And to think I could have married an Eames chair!”


Submitted by Michael Jones

Evanston, Ill.

I entered...

"I should have married that riding mower.

this Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.



"Whatever you do don't tell the spacemen we've been doing drugs."

Here are the leftovers...

This guys up my ass.

Great another SUV UFO.









This week's nominees...






“This particular species is believed to have travelled in troupes.”
Submitted by Curtis Williams
Los Angeles, Calif.

“They hated each other when they were alive.”
Submitted by Barry Friedman
Tulsa, Okla.

“We have some very promising new theories about why they became extinct.”
Submitted by William Peek
Locust Valley, N.Y.

I entered...

"We found these deep in the Catskills."

this Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.


"I should have married that riding mower."






Here are the leftovers...


What happened to the love seat I married?

You can't even fold out into a bed anymore.






Here's this week's nominees...




"Worst fifty bucks I ever spent."
Submitted by Stefan Martula
Houston, Texas

“Trust me. They like experienced.”
Submitted by George McCarthy
Swarthmore, Pa.

“So much for a safe word.”
Submitted by Lane B. Fike
Philadelphia, Pa

I entered...

"They're in her purse next to my head."

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.


"We found these deep in the Catskills."






Here are the leftovers...


I think they're "prehysterical"!

How do you know this is "wrong"?

Television killed the dinosaurs.

You have a better explanation for the giant hats we found?







Here are the nominees...




“Your tattoo escaped.”
Submitted by Mike Druhan
Mobile, Ala.

“Don’t look at me. I wanted a Portuguese water dog.”
Submitted by Elizabeth Cannon
Elmwood Park, Ill.

“Marco!”
Submitted by Michael Albertson
Sunnyside, N.Y.

I entered...

"I think the chlorine levels are off again."

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.


"They're in her purse next to my head."



Here are the leftovers...

I think my wives cheating on me with another guy.

Better than being single.

Looks like somebody got lucky last night.





This week's nominees...



“I keep forming inappropriate attachments.”
Submitted by Stan Kantrowitz
Los Angeles, Calif.

“Just how revealing are ink blots?”
Submitted by Kathleen Hurwitz
Murrieta, Calif.

“You’re right. Maybe sometimes a sea cucumber is just a sea cucumber.”
Submitted by Julian Hirst
New York, N.Y.

I entered...

"I'm sure you hear this all the time."

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.


"I think the chlorine levels are off again."






Here's the leftovers...


We need a pool toy that doesn't scare the kids.

The sun is the second cause of pool related death.


Here's this week's nominees...



"Botox."
Submitted by Steven Frucht
New York, N.Y.

"Looks like a culture of denial."
Submitted by Terence Krista
Richmond, Calif.

"Believe me, it's what's under the ground that's most interesting."
Submitted by Webb Harris
Winter Springs, Fla.

I entered...
Welcome to "Stoned-henge".

this Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.



"I'm sure you hear this all the time."






Here are the leftovers...


I'm boring you aren't I?

I just don't feel like myself today.

I was never comfortable in my own skin, so this is way better.






Here are the Nominees...




“The goatee looked dumb on its own.”
Submitted by Erik Doughty
Colts Neck, N.J.

“Oddly enough, it's the Capri pants that I hear about the most."
Submitted by Andrew Tripp
Raleigh, N.C.

“Let's just say I thought I had one wish left.”
Submitted by Kathy Mathews
Frankfort, Ill.

I entered...

"The tech guy said our department needed more ram."

This week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.


Welcome to "Stoned-henge".








Here's this week's nominees...




“If he can dust with it, I might be impressed.”
Submitted by Terri Lewis
Denver, Colo.

"Evolution can be so tacky."
Submitted by Topf Wells
Madison, Wis.

"He's had work."
Submitted by Brendan Powers
Ithaca, N.Y.

I entered...

"Those are fake."

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.


"The tech guy said our department needed more ram."







This week's nominees...



“On a clear day, I can get Santa Fe on the antenna.”
Submitted by Michael Murray
Toronto, Ont.

"At the next canyon, I'll show you why."
Submitted by David Hagemeier
Arden Hills, Minn.

“Nope, it's not a new haircut. Try again.”
Submitted by Alec Anderson
Ann Arbor, Mich.

I entered...
"I'm going deep under cover."

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.


"Those are fake."







Here's the leftovers:


Someone's been hanging around the nuclear power plant.

So she's in color, but she's not HD.






Here's this weeks nominees...




"Why don't you get the coffee this morning?"
Submitted by Earl Schmitter
Concord, Calif.

“Don't think I didn't hear you come in last night.”
Submitted by Jeffrey Ainis
Monrovia, Calif.

“So your biggest concern is my pronunciation of the word ‘crevasse’?”
Submitted by Brent Sheppard
Morganton, N.C.

I entered...

"We need to talk about your snoring."

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.


"I'm going deep under cover."






Here are the leftovers...

This town is too big for the two of us Sheriff.



Here are this week's nominees...





“Beware the hidden service charge.”
Submitted by Eric Goldberg
Everett, Wash.

“No one attacks quite like the French.”
Submitted by David Kempler
Island Park, N.Y.

“You have any small bills?”
Submitted by Latif Jamani
Calgary, Alberta

I entered...

"Anyone order a Greek salad?"

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.


"We need to talk about your snoring."








Here are the leftovers...

I feel like somethings coming between us.

I don't even notice the termites anymore.

Don't worry, there's an earthquake kit under the bed.


Here's this week's nominees...




"I don't like the way Adam looks at you."
Submitted by Norma Hersh
Boynton Beach, Fla.

"Now you'll probably want a chair."
Submitted by Jim Leonard
Albany, N.Y.

"Please stop asking, honey. If anything, you look too thin."
Submitted by Phil Rosenthal
Chicago, Ill.

I entered...

"That mouse you ate makes your butt look big."

This week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.


"Anyone order a Greek salad?"







Here are this week's nominees...



“I can remember when she was just a fuzzy yellow intern.”
Submitted by Jon Williams
Raleigh, N.C.

“And we always thought it would be robots that would replace us.”
Submitted by George Gropper
Boston, Mass.

"That's strange—some of my twigs are missing, too."
Submitted by Kenneth Berniker
El Cerrito, Calif.

I entered...

this week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.


"That mouse you ate makes your butt look big."







Here are the left overs...

Ever since that apple showed up things have gotten weird.

Well it wasn't me!







Here are this week's nominees...



"Have you always felt like a victim?"
Submitted by Lee Wilkof
Terryville, Conn.

"Sorry, I drifted off there. What did you say after 'I've been shot'?"
Submitted by Todd Pettigrew
Glace Bay, Nova Scotia

"Unfortunately, your time is up, but I think we have a general outline of the problem."
Submitted by Heather Lee
Walnut Creek, Calif.

I entered...

"Anyway, enough about me, how are you doing?"

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.

"Some people in the office found your breakfast offensive."







Here are the leftovers...

You can't refer to an employee as a "Chick".




Here are this week's nominees...




"I was hoping for eternal rest."
Submitted by Matthew Greenbaum
New York, N.Y.

“A clear day? I hadn't thought of that.”
Submitted by Thomas Whipp
Shorewood, Wis.

“I'm doing O.K., but I do miss my Lycra bike shorts. And Mildred, of course.”
Submitted by Stan Kantrowitz
Los Angeles, Calif.


I entered...

"Kind of hoped there'd be Segways."

this week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.


"Anyway, enough about me, how are you doing?"




Here are the leftovers...

I'm afraid we're just about out of time.

You're awfully quiet.




Here's this week's nominees...





"They say jolliness skips a generation."
Submitted by Jotham Burrello
Ashford, Conn.

"There goes eighty-three years of brand equity down the drain."
Submitted by Harris Ferrell
Forest Hills, N.Y.

"Must be the pesticides."
Submitted by Douglass Gilbert
Greensboro, N.C.

I entered...

"He'll be Jolly again; he just needs to eat something."

This week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.



"Kind of hoped there'd be Segways."




Here are this week's nominees...



“Did anyone turn in a cape last night?”
Submitted by Theodore Frant, Jr.
Groton, Conn.

"Please tell me that was your car I just backed into."
Submitted by James Demers
New York, N.Y.

“The invisible man picked up my tab.”
Submitted by Steve Case
Tuscaloosa, Ala.

I entered...
"There's an invisible car outside with it's lights on."

2011 Holiday Card

Here's this year's family holiday card! It celebrates my less than perfect spelling, and punctuation.

You can see some more of our old cards here.

Front



Inside

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.



"He'll be Jolly again; he just needs to eat something."







Here's the leftovers...

They warn us about building in the Valley of the Jolly Green Giant.

Well you don't get that big eating frozen peas and corn.


Here's this week's nominees...





"Actually, it came with the glasses."
Submitted by Margot Williams
Ypsilanti, Mich.

"I was just made pardner."
Submitted by Jeremy Fain
Los Angeles, Calif.

"Be careful about Ctrl-M."
Submitted by Louis Pappas
Washington, D.C.


I entered...

"Did I miss anything while I was napping?"