Friday, September 25, 2009

Morning Thoughts

You know those "brilliant" thoughts you have in the morning right before you wake up that turn out to be stupid by lunch time, those are morning thoughts, and I had this one today...

I thought it would be funny this morning to do an open mic stand up comedy act where you subtly suggest that a major news event has accrued in the last hour that no one knows about yet; all the while making jokes about it while keeping the whole made thing very vague. Here’s an example.

“Hey everybody! So wow, what a difference and hour can make, huh? Can you believe what’s going on? I mean after all those years of campaigning on change, this isn’t exactly the change we had in mind, am I right? I mean, who’s the presidents adviser, Heidi and Spencer? But seriously, they’re shooting all of this for a Fox reality show called, “ I’m an American President Get Me Out of Here!”

At this point I would hope that people would start whispering, “What the hell is he talking about?”. I'd just continue with, “To think an hour ago, Joe Biden was all like, ‘Maybe I’ll take tomorrow off for a long weekend’, and now he’s all like, ‘Shit, my calendar just got jacked!”

At this point I'd hope people might start calling out, “What happen?” or “What the hell are you talking about?!” I'd just ignore them saying,“Please, I worked really hard to get these jokes together this fast, I know they’re not great but what do you expect this JUST happened!” If they got more irate, or begged to know more, I’d say, “You’re right, this was a bad idea. It’s too soon to be joking about this, I’ll just go back to my regular act, and then I'd say, "So, what’s the deal with Spaghetti and meat balls?”


Semi-Imperfect Role Model for Superheroes and Other Super Things ("Have no fear, imagination is here!"©) ♡™ said...

Heck that's a GREAT idea!! I'm still like, "So...What happened?!?" Ohhhhh....what DID happen?? Could you just keep writing please -- Joe isn't president is he?? (It would be cool if you had conspirators in the audience or even an edited "CNN" video which could be switched to, shown across all the bar's TVs. --At the end of it, when everyone is staring at the wall of TVs in disbelief, calling their friends and crying, the CNN anchor could cut to you reporting your hoax from the club stage, interviewing yourself. : ) I'd love to see the audience's faces. I'm sure you have better ideas though...((...but...does anything ever REALLY happen?))

Caveat Production said...

I'm glad you're still guess, that's perfect.

krusty said...

Genuis. except people would be able to determine nothing was going on via their cell phones.

my morning thoughts don't make it to lunch. as soon as i start telling my wife, i realize the idea doesn't even make enough sense to put into words.

Caveat Production said...

Mine don't normally make it to lunch either, and people looking on their cel phones would be part of the fun. It would be great to watch a sea of little cel phone screens lighting up in the crowd.

Semi-Imperfect Role Model for Superheroes and Other Super Things ("Have no fear, imagination is here!"©) ♡™ said...

oh no no nononoooo cell phones would be the kicker! that's how Dan would end up on REAL national news...that is why this is a brilliant sociological event...tie in Berkeley profs to really study this phenomenon as it unfolds; plan for it to be accessible to academic dissection on par to:

with enough audience plants and a convincing "CNN/FOX" video on screen, a very, very, verrrrrrrry large audience would be had (much larger than merely the people in the club)...cell phone callers would be shouting, "#%&#*# turn on CNN!" --Oh!!! And, the club could temporarily turn on a localized cell phone blocker after initial calls were made...all tying into the story. "Of course it is true the cell phones aren't working now!" : ))))

The cool thing is, if you had started a really neat rumor (not the President dying but something with beneficial residual impact) it would continue to live a life of its own as a sort of urban legend, with the permanently crazy 20 percent of humanity firm believers in Dan's Agenda : )

Cranial Torque said...

I think that's a hilarious idea.

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