Hot Amateur Videos!

I've been inspired by my friend Steve Purcell's recent blog series "High School Confidential" which feature some of his sweetly naive, yet strangely charming early artwork, to post some of my high school / college films and videos. It's a little embarrassing how technically amateurish some of these projects are, but perhaps slightly more embarrassing, how much more creative some of them are than the projects I'm doing now.

This was the pencil test for my final animation project at the Columbus College of Art and Design. It wouldn't be a college animation project, without someone losing a limb or two.


"Rocket Boy"
Dan Scanlon
1998

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.



"After the initial presentation there will be a short slide show out lining all of our possible sex options for tonight."





Here's the leftovers...

Did I mention I’m talking a public speaking class?

I’m an auctioneer, and I had to come straight from work.

Would you like our special “Dinning Alone Menu”?

Wow, picturing the audience in their underwear really isn’t making things easier in this case.



And here's this weeks nominees







"So Why did you leave Red Lobster?"*

"I guess we have a deal, but we don't have to shake on it."

"So you think you're ready for the corner tank?"


I entered...

"I’ve looked over your resume and qualification, and I’m happy to say that I’ve chosen you to be my dinner."

* My first leftover caption was...

"May I ask why you left Red Lobster?"

Guess that was the obvious one.

Dan's Found Caricature

Every now and then one finds a picture, photo, plant or mineral that looks just like one's self. This is the last of this month's found caricatures that look like me. Please let me know when you find them successful, or when you think they’re crap.

















This is Scott Adsit, he plays a producer on NBC's 30 rock, I love the show,but I have to admit he's my least favorite part of the show, mainly because he looks like me, and apparently I hate myself. We'll that's it for the September found caricatures, I hope you enjoyed them, hopefully they'll be more to come in the future!

Dan

Hot Amateur Videos!

I've been inspired by my friend Steve Purcell's recent blog series "High School Confidential" which feature some of his sweetly naive, yet strangely charming early artwork, to post some of my high school / college films and videos. It's a little embarrassing how technically amateurish some of these projects are, but perhaps slightly more embarrassing, how much more creative some of them are than the projects I'm doing now.

While most kids in Michigan where spending their 18th birthday buy cigarettes, going to Canadian strip clubs, and voting republican I spent my 18th shooting this film at and amazing local Michigan film workshop called Focal Point. Every student had one week to write, direct, and edit a short film and debut it to friends and family on the last day of the workshop. My good friends Justin Allen and Matt Cantu helped me bring to life this moving love story about an insane woodsmen and his love for a free spirited young man/woman.































"Die Fingen in Meinen Apfelsope"
a film by Dan Scanlon and Justin Allen
1994

* Update!

Wow, so this film was actually taken down by UMG for having the song "Falling in Love Again" as sung by writer William S. Burroughs . I'm actually kind of shocked, last I checked kids were cutting all sorts of crappy videos to unlicensed pop music on youtube, I thought that's what it was for. Oh well, I guess Will's drunken German version of this nearly 70 year old song is pretty popular stuff.

Hope you saw it when it was posted.

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.
















"He curls up at my feet at the end of each day and tries to squeeze the life out of me."




And here's the leftovers...

We can’t have dogs in our building.

My wife’s allergic to pet hair.

We no longer have a problem with mice or capybara in our apartment.

If he bites you, you have 5 minutes to live, but at least he doesn’t bark.

It’s a really great way to pick up crazy chicks.

He loves dogs, but he just ate like two of them yesterday.




And here's this weeks New Yorker nominees...





















"The heating system is pretty old but reliable."

"I strongly recommend that you read the fine print on this one."

"The seller is extremely motivated."

I entered...

"It's a sinner's market."

Dan's Found Caricature

Every now and then one finds a picture, photo, plant or mineral that looks just like one's self. I'm going to try to post a new FOUND caricature of myself every Saturday morning for the next month. Please let me know when you find them successful, or when you think they’re crap.















This classic A & W restaurant character bares a sad and slightly fat resemblance to my current state. As a kid my Uncle owed a local A & W drive in chain located in Michigan. In it's earliest years almost every member of my family worked there at one point in their young life; my Aunts, my Uncles, even my mom worked there as a roller skating waitress serving trays of greasy food to cars full of drunk teenagers. When my brother and I were very little kids, we use get to go to the drive thru on our birthdays and my Uncle would let us order as many large root beers and foot long chili dogs as we could choke down. In the early 90's my Uncle retired and sold the restaurant, but it still holds a special place in my clogged heart.Viva La A & W!!

Baby Carol Video!

Here's a cute video of our dog Carol for no reason! This was back when she was little, but now she's like 4 pounds bigger!



The camera man was never heard from again...

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.

















"I’ve looked over your resume and qualification, and I’m happy to say that I’ve chosen you to be my dinner."




and here's the leftovers...

May I ask why you left Red Lobster?

I’m sorry, but I’m having trouble reading your handwriting.

And if you'll just sign this standard anti claws clause.

I’ll be honest at this company you have to have a pretty tough skin.

So you feel you out grew you’re last position.

I’m guessing at your former job you were a pretty big fish.

I see you’re from Boston.






Let's take a look at this weeks winning nominees!





















"Can you please pass the cow?"

Let me start by welcoming you all to Narcoleptics Anonymous."

"By a 9 - 0 vote, the rest-room expansion project is approved."

and my entry was...

"I'm sorry, I guess I didn't really understand what Venti meant."

(shhh...) I also entered this under a different name...

"Before we start the meeting, I want to let everyone know that the bathroom is out of order."

It’s a Good Day to be Legally Alive

This morning I got a call from a real-estate agent letting me know that I was legal dead.

He had been checking my credit report earlier in the day in order to make sure I would make a respectable tenant for his client’s condo and in doing so discovered that, based on my social security number, I was in fact legally dead and therefore not a good tenant for his client's condo, though I beg to differ, as I am legally worth more dead than alive. Regardless the whole thing made me feel a bit uncomfortable to say the least, until my wife asked her sister, who is also a real estate agent, to run another credit check on me, and after being dead for over three hours I was relieved to find that the mistake was on their end, and that I am in fact still, technically alive!

Viva La Life!

Here’s an unrelated picture of a white trash guy with a beer, just to remind us that life is still legally worth living!

Dan's Found Caricature

Every now and then one finds a picture, photo, plant or mineral that looks just like one's self. I'm going to try to post a new FOUND caricature of myself every Saturday morning for the next month. Please let me know when you find them successful, or when you think they’re crap.

I found this post card at a local art show and immediately noticed a likeness between myself wearing my glasses and a caricature I assume was drawn of an artist named David Coffman.

This caricature was drawn for an art show in San Francisco that opened September 5th and runs through October 5th located at D - structure at 520 haight st. @ fillmore. I don't know anything about the show, but if you're in the area, check out the Duck!!! show.

Shoe Polls!

Michele has recently discovered the wonderful new polling feature on blogger, and has begun putting her life's decisions in the hands of the Internet community. Stop by her blog Batsh*tglam and cast your vote to help make decisions for her on important things like shoes, shoe related topics and on whether or not the image below is porn or not porn.

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.

















"It’s a sinners market."




Here's the leftovers...

I just want to warn you the home doesn’t have air conditioning.

On the upside, the school system in this neighborhood is wonderful.

I find a staged home feels more livable when there filled with the smell of baking bread and burning flesh.

Let me just check to see if the current owner is decent.

Legally I need to disclose that the reason the home is going for so cheap is that someone is going to be murdered on the property.

You stand a good chance of getting this place seeing as you come from a two soul household.

We expect this foreclosure to go quickly.

I have to be perfectly honest with you, the house has a mold issues.




And now a new feature!

Let's take a look at this weeks winning nominees!


















" Run! the kid with the little red shovel is coming back!"

"We save a bundle on suntan lotion."

"You've got that? Three bottled waters, two sodas, one coffee, and six straws."

And here's what I entered...

"Your kid is never gonna get into a good college unless he learns to finish what he starts."

None of the nominees mentioned the fact that the guy standing in the sands feet are buried. Damn you New Yorker and you're half ass contest!

See you next week!

Dan's Found Caricature

Found Caricatures are back for the month of September! Every now and then one finds a picture, photo, plant or mineral that looks just like one's self. I'm going to try to post a new FOUND caricature of myself every Saturday morning for the next month. Please let me know when you find them successful, or when you think they’re crap.
















My wife bought this mug in China town, and I couldn't help notice the resemblance of this creepy narrow headed fellow.

Top Three Addictions

What are your top three biggest addictions?

What are the three things you couldn't go on living another day without? Here are mine starting with my biggest addiction to my lesser addiction.

Number one.....

Chocolate!!!

I love Chocolate! If I could I eat it all day long I would! I'm a REAL chocoholic. NO KIDDING!

Number two.....

Tivo!!

I love Tivo! Not as much as I love Chocolate, but man I love Tivo. I have so many shows waiting for me to watch! I'm like a TV junkie and Tivo is my dealer. LOL!

Number three.....

Oxycontin!

Otherwise known as "Hillbilly Heroine". Mmmmm, it's good! I know what you're thinking, "Wait a minute, why is this number 3 on the list when it is one of the most addictive, habit forming drugs in the world?" Well, though it is a very addictive drug, the truth is I simply don't like it as much as I like chocolate and Tivo. Case in point, I use Oxycontin maybe six times in a week, but I eat a chocolate bar EVERYDAY! Sometimes TWICE!!!! And I don't even want to tell you how many hours of Tivo I watch in a day, it's just too embarrassing. Honestly, the chocolate thing is a WAY bigger problem for me. If I had to pull my teeth out in order to get chocolate I would, though it wouldn't be hard or painful for me to do thanks to the crystal methamphetamine I use casually on the weekends or at parties (number 6 on my addiction list, after unprotected sex with prostitutes and the wire season 3 on DVD!). My teeth slide out like seeds from a watermelon, (or should I say nuts from a snickers bar, mmmmmm chocolate!) regardless I'd still do whatever I had to in order to get chocolate and that is way further than I'd ever go for any drug.

So whether it's scramble on face book (my number 7 ) or drinking shampoo to get drunk (number 18), just remember it's all relative, and it's all about moderation.

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.


"I'm sorry, I guess I didn't really understand what Venti meant."



Here's the leftovers...

Does anyone see the extra small coffee I ordered?

I'm afraid we're going to be working a little late tonight.

I want to thank everyone for making it to this mornings 4 AM meeting.

The bad news is the old man didn't get all his shoes made again, so we're going to be working late.

Before we start the meeting, I want to let everyone know that the bathroom is out of order.

The deadline has been moved from next month to this afternoon, but I think we can still hit it.

I think we need to discuss what happened at the office party last night.