Final New Yorker Caption Contest Nominees

Final nominees in the  New Yorker Caption Contest.

"Mind if I cut through?"

Submitted by Bill Glavin, 

Philadelphia, Pa.

"How's my wife doing?"Submitted by Jerry Sobol, 

New York, 

N.Y.

"Sorry, but I have to play it where it lies."

Submitted by Kurt Hadley, 

St. Charles, Ill.

I entered...

"Alright fine, we'll play!"

Thanks New Yorker! Thanks anyone who looked at these!

Bye.

New Yorker Caption Contest

No more entering the New Yorker Caption Contest  for me, but if you're curious here this weeks nominees.

"Wow, the Moscow airport—what a wacky idea for a first date!"
Submitted by Jason C. Costa,

New York, N.Y.

"I need someone without baggage."
Submitted by Kirk J. LoCicero, 

New Orleans, La.

"You have really kind eyeholes."
Submitted by Brier Random, Santa Barbara, Calif.

I entered...

"I like a man who recycles."

The Last New Yorker Caption Contest

Hey anyone who still looks at this blog, Well this is it for me, after over five years of entering the New Yorker Caption Contest every single week, I'm throwing in the towel. It was a lot of fun, but I'm moving onto crossword puzzles. I'll post two more blog entries with the next two week's nominees that I've already entered, and then I don't think they'll be much going on at this blog, because who has a blog anymore.

So here's my final entry in the New Yorker Caption Contest.

"Alright fine, we'll play!"

Leftovers

No pro clubs in here, this is miniature golf!

Don't touch that, it's a kidney stone.

Trust me, you didn't want to play that where it landed.

You want to hold a beating heart? It's pretty cool. 

Nominees 

"Heal!"

Submitted by James L. George, 

Columbus, Ohio

"Do you want it in dog years?"

Submitted by Pat Evans, 

Clinton, N.Y.

"In this clinic, Mr. Kramer, we call it a vasectomy."

Submitted by Laurence K. Marks, 

Highland Park, Ill.

I entered...

"Turn your head and bark."

New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this week's New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.

"I like a man who recycles."

Leftovers...

I don't want women to be distracted by my beautiful face, but rather to love me for my astounding wealth. 

Nominees...

"Save it. Ignorance of the law is no defense."

Submitted by Lawrence Miles, 

Laredo, Texas

"Let that be a lesson to you."

Submitted by Brian Giacometti, 

Westfield, Mass.

"I'm going to let you off with just a math lecture this time."

Submitted by Tom Tykodi, New Albany, 

Ohio

I entered...

"Can't you read the street sign?"

New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this week's New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.

"Turn your head and bark."

Leftovers...

I'm gonna give you a recommendation for a psychiatrist.




This Week's Nominees...

"I wish they would just go back to tapping our phone lines."
Submitted by Terry Stoll, 

Ulen, Minn.

"Don't worry, we have this room booked until four."
Submitted by Ryan Lee Wong, 

Brooklyn, N.Y.

"Relax. It's just a triptych."
Submitted by David Pausch, 

Madison, Wis.

I entered...

"Serving as proxy for Mr. Peterson is Gorgon Destroyer of Planets."

New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this week's New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.

"Can't you read the street sign?"

Leftovers...

Not that hard to figure out how fast you were going?

If you've haven't been drinking this should make perfect sense to you. 

Nominees...

"Watch your step—I think this street is paved with good intentions."
Submitted by Justin C. Voog, 

La Jolla, Calif.

"I liked it better when the big banks just charged late fees."
Submitted by James Borghesani, 

Duxbury, Mass.

"I see Wall Street is hiring again."
Submitted by Michael Appleton, 

Toronto, Ont.

I entered...

"All the cool nightclubs don't have signs."

New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this week's New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.

"Serving as proxy for Mr. Peterson is Gorgon Destroyer of Planets."

Leftovers...

This is Rick from our Tokyo office.

Wrap it up Gail other people want to use this room. 

Nominees....

"Is the funny voice really worth all this trouble?"
Submitted by Matt Anderson, 

Philadelphia, Pa.

"It's quite common, Senator. Most politicians are filled with hot air."
Submitted by Lynn Tudor, 

New York, N.Y.

"Please, Mr. Blaine. I do have other patients to attend to."
Submitted by Pablo Goldstein, 

Los Angeles, Calif.

I entered...

"Don't worry, it's a common side effect of being dead."

New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this week's New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.

"All the cool nightclubs don't have signs."

Leftovers...

Look, American Idol Auditions.

Nominees...

"You call that pushing?"

Submitted by Curtis Williams, 

Los Angeles, Calif.

"It gets easier the second time.

"Submitted by Thomas Stimpson, 

Brooklyn, N.Y.

"Just lean in."

Submitted by Michael Leibman, 

Washington, D.C.

I entered...

"When you're done with that I need you to mow the lawn."

New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this week's New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.

"Don't worry, it's a common side effect of being dead."

Leftovers...


You're what we call "Skinny Fat".

You've lost weight and gotten taller!






Nominees...

"I wouldn't say 'favorite' animal."
Submitted by David Karlsruher, 

Arlington, Va.

"Mistakes were made."
Submitted by Mary Newell, 

Gainesville, Fla.

"I have trouble saying no."
Submitted by Isaac Cravit, 

Toronto, Ont.
 

I entered...

"You've never supported 'Giraffe Planet'!"

The New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this week's New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.

"When you're done with that I need you to mow the lawn."

Leftovers...

I think your diaper needs changing.

You should try Pilates?



Nominees...

"It's only fair. He has a man cave."

Submitted by Lawrence Wood, 

Chicago, Ill.

"I come here to brood."

Submitted by Don Symons, 

Santa Barbara, Calif.

"After the kids moved out, the tree house was just too big."

Submitted by Richard Hine, 

New York, N.Y.

I entered...

"With the kids gone, I think it's time we move to a statue's armpit in the city."

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this week's New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.

"You've never supported 'Giraffe Planet'!"

Leftovers

Do you think I brought enough giraffes?

The worst part is I think they're all guys.

No, I also brought some of those little spiders too!

Show's what you know, they're actually several different types of giraffe!

Well next time I'll build the boat and you can pick the animals!

Well excuse me, I like giraffe meat!




Nominees...

"I'm rebranding."

Submitted by John Meggitt, 

San Francisco, Calif.

"Aye, there'll be baskets of treasure for us upon Easter Island."

Submitted by Bucknell Webb, 

Ossining, N.Y.

"He's a temp."

Submitted by Kim F. Bertucci, 

Gretna, La.

I entered...

"The poops just roll right off."

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this week's New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.

"With the kids gone, I think it's time we move to a statue's armpit in the city."

Leftovers...

Can't we have something other than eggs?

Made this nest out of old People magazines.

When you're done with the newspaper, I want to line the floor with it.

I sent a care package filled with regurgitated worms.

Maybe it's time we consider renting a smaller nest in the city.

Not so sure it's "Empty Nest Syndrome" we might just be insane. 

Nominees...

"He's been on that same story for hours. I'm beginning to think he can't read."

Submitted by Matt Mutshnick, 

Scarborough, Ont.

"We're gonna need a bigger cat."

Submitted by Jeff Burd, 

Gurnee, Ill.

"Did you just order a hundred cheese pizzas?"

Submitted by Jack Shakely, 

Rancho Mirage, Calif.

I entered...

"It's for him."

New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this week's New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.

"The poops just roll right off."

Nominees...

"Treat me like the White House."
Submitted by Mark Glassman, New York, N.Y.

"Majority Whip tonight?"

Submitted by Paul Franz, Cincinnati, Ohio

"You were filibustering in your sleep again."
Submitted by Nathan Blomgren, Corte Madera, Calif.

I entered...

"No one knows how to screw people quite like you."

New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this week's New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.

"It's for him."

Leftovers...

They're sending a giant cat.

Nominees...

"Easy for you to say—you're cured!"
Submitted by Brendan Clark, Los Angeles, Calif.

"I'm always done in three minutes."
Submitted by Mark Paladini, Virginia Beach, Va.

"I always wake up dreading the morning."
Submitted by David Trumbo, Studio City, Calif

I entered...

"I no longer see everyone as cigarettes."

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this week's New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.

"No one knows how to screw people quite like you."

Leftovers...

I only dated the Washington Monument for a short time.






Nominees... 

"He's done."Submitted by Mary McCarty, 
Galveston, Texas

"Will you all please bow your heads for the reading of the menu."Submitted by Geoffrey Morrison, 
Surrey, B.C.

"Cholesterol, shlemesterol, André loved to say."Submitted by Chris O'Connell,
Henderson, Nev.

I entered...

"For dessert we'll be having the upper half."

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this week's New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.

"I no longer see everyone as cigarettes."

Leftovers...

You're the first therapist who truly understands my problems.

I feel like I've known you my whole life.







Nominees...

"I was wrong. This meeting is still boring."
Submitted by Jennifer Chapman, 
Wheaton, Ill.

"The back of my head is up here, Tom."
Submitted by Dan Karmel, 
New York, N.Y.

"Remember, we present to the emperor tomorrow at eleven."
Submitted by Mary Gregg, 
Bala Cynwyd, Pa.

I entered...

"On second thought, let's go back to thinking inside the box."

New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this week's New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.

"For dessert we'll be having the upper half."

Leftovers...

Don't worry, that smell is the cheese.

That concludes tonights dinner theater mystery.

Now you all have a little piece of him inside you.

My condolences to the chef. 

Nominees...

"Backstabbing was already prevalent—we just added a twist."

Submitted by Ron Scheff, 

New York, N.Y.

"Be careful not to overwind—it can cost us overtime."

Submitted by Robert Clark, 

Crystal River, Fla.

"And Bob, here, came to us from a jewelry box."

Submitted by Mary Lorenz, 

Chicago, Ill.

I entered...

"They’re diligent but all they do is email each other cat videos."

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this week's New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.

"On second thought, let's go back to thinking inside the box."

Leftovers...

Lastly, I want to talk about Casual Friday's.





Nominees...

"Six rounds. Nine lives. You do the math."
Submitted by Tom Leonard, 

Berkeley, Calif. 

"Calm down—I just came to get my things."
Submitted by Amy Crossfield, 

Brooklyn   

"Consider the effect of recoil."
Submitted by Richard B. Peterson, 

Monterey, Calif.

I entered...

"I hope that gun holds more than nine bullets."

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this week's New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.

"They’re diligent but all they do is email each other cat videos."

Leftovers...

We’re replacing them with younger digital models.

The real savings is on coffee.

When they wind down it looks like Jonestown around here.

This Week's Nominees...

"You both know Jane."
Submitted by Diane Meagh, 

Atlanta, Ga.

"You two have a lot in common: ninety-eight per cent of your DNA and you're both in accounting."
Submitted by Kurt Grevstad, 

Seattle, Wash.

"Harry, Hairy. Hairy, Harry."
Submitted by Chuck Wahrhaftig, 

New York City

I entered...

 "Garry works in our conspiracy department."