This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.


"It’s saint Jeff, the patron saint of Ass Kick’in!"





Here's the left overs...


Please don’t stab me with your transparent sword!


I think it’s time I cut out the drugs, and really focus on the robbing.





Here's this week's nominees...



"Now that I've met your family, I want you to meet mine."
Submitted by Ben Russak
Carlsbad, Calif.

"You're in trouble when we get to the bicycles."
Submitted by John Kinde
Las Vegas, Nev.

"Hi there! Can I interest you in some promotional material about intelligent design?"
Submitted by Aaron Adler
New York, N.Y.

I entered...

"We have to make this work, you’re the last fish in the sea."

Loiterer About Town

Michele has started writing for a great new local San Francisco online newspaper called SFAppeal. She writes an advise column called "Ask Babe", as well as column called "Loiterer About Town". Check out this weeks Loiter About Town all about Tom Jones and Panties!

Michele's Birthday in Vegas

This weekend was Michele's Birthday!

We spent it in Vegas with a few good friends. Vegas is great! Well it is at first anyway. Days in Vegas are like crispy creme donuts, the first is great, the second is really good, the third makes you sick.

What I like about Vegas is you can see a 21 year old having the time of their lives next to a 92 years old having the time of their life. It changes with you no matter your age,or interest, and it doesn't ask much of you. Anyway here are some pictures of our Vegas fun!

We spend most of our day drinking by the pool.



Here's Michele at the wax museum with Sean Connery.



Here's me ( left ) with Larry King ( right ).



And here's both of us with Don Rickles *


* ( Funny side story, it was later determined that this was actually the real Don Rickles.)

The rest of the evening is spend in the bars and casinos, followed up by 4 hours of free cable in the hotel, and it's back in bed by 7:30PM.

Looking forward to going back.

Happy Birthday Michele!

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.


"Thou shall order take out."




Here's the leftovers...

I guess we shouldn’t have assumed God speaks English.

Behold the ten condiments.






Here are this weeks nominees






"So what makes you think we need a health inspector?"
Submitted by Galen Lloyd
Charlottesville, Va.

"Beat it, buddy. We're out of chalk."
Submitted by Paul Snare
University Place, Wash.

"Seven men walked into a bar and died. What's it to ya?"
Submitted by Lisa Peters
Minneapolis, Minn.

I entered...

"Shut the door or my paper customers will blow away!"

A Picture is Worth a Thousand Swear Words

One Christmas when I was about 6 years old my Aunt and Uncle who lived in Pennsylvania sent my a nice new button up shirt for Christmas and gave my brother a brand new football. Because they lived so far away and wouldn't be around to see us open our gifts my mom thought it would be a nice gesture to use her new fancy Polaroid camera to take pictures of us with the gifts. My mom had me put on my crisp button up shirt and stand politely in front of the camera. As she staged the photo my brother would every now and then toss the football in front of me. My mom told him to cut it out, Polaroid film was very expensive and she didn't want that damn football in the shot. He stopped screwing around for a moment and slunk out of frame. My mom raised the camera, waited the unnecessarily long amount of time all mothers wait before taking a photo and then flash! She snapped the picture one second after my Brother lunched the football back into the air.

Realizing what he had done, she said, "You better hope that football isn't in this picture, or I'm gonna be so mad!" We waited nervously as the image slowly developed, and I'm happy to say my brother just emailed me a copy of the photo that appeared that night...








My mom laughed her ass off when this photo developed and I would argue that my brother actually helped save money on Polaroid film as this photo included both of the gifts.

This Weeks New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.

"We have to make this work, you’re the last fish in the sea."







Here's the leftovers...


Your place or mine?

You better evolve faster if you’re gonna get away from me.






Here are this weeks nominees...






"Well, at least he made curfew."
Submitted by Andrea Fidurko
Needham, Mass.

"I thought our sex life was a train wreck."
Submitted by Stevan Savich
Crown Point, Ind.

"We should tell the G.P.S. people that they changed the off-ramp."
Submitted by Georgia Gebhardt
Wilmette, Ill.


I entered...

"I told you you were yelling,"don't stop" too loud."

This Week's New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.


"Shut the door or my paper customers will blow away!"



Here's the left overs...


Careful, you’re walking into a victimless crime scene!

8 out of 10 men die of alcohol related deaths, are you feeling lucky?




* I'm experimenting with choosing the sillier less appropriate joke, as I find they tend to look for variety in the 3 nominees. Let's see how it goes.


Here's this weeks nominees...




"Yes, Officer, they say he was about six feet four, with pointy ears and abnormally short arms."
Submitted by Alexia Kauffman
Arlington, Va.

"I wasn't laid off—I just decided to pursue other interests."
Submitted by Christy Yoest
New York, N.Y.

"Hello, YouTube? I've got something you might be interested in."
Submitted by Judy Goldberg
Brooklyn, N.Y.

I entered...

I figured out a way to fit all four cats into my new studio apartment.

This Weeks New Yorker Caption Contest

Here is my entry in this weeks New Yorker Caption Contest. Each week they provide the image and you provide the caption.


"I told you you were yelling,"don't stop" too loud."



Here are the leftovers...


Now do you like the bed more on this side of the room?

I don’t care how drunk college buddy is, he can't sleep on the couch!

Nice try, that’s not gonna get you out of making this baby.

Do you even remember how you got home last night?

We need a safer,"safe" word.





Here are this weeks nominees...




"Tell me you kept the box and receipt."
Submitted by Jae Choe
New York, N.Y.

"Typical client—wants a damn Parthenon on a Stonehenge budget."
Submitted by Karl Kindig
Abingdon, Va.

"Dude, Athena's gonna be pissed."
Submitted by Alan Farkas
Los Angeles, Calif.

I entered...

"We should have just let the aliens finish it."

Wonder Con

Michele and I went to Wonder Con today. Wonder Con is a huge Comic Book convention held in San Francisco each year and was the stand in for the fictional "Ultra Con" feature at the end of our film Tracy. We have a soft spot in our hearts for these conventions and all the great fans that attend. As Michele said about Comic Con when we went there three years ago for our comic Unmentionables, "Where else can you go to a highly populated place where 70 percent of the people there have weapons and absolutely no form of violence is going to break out".