F U Money

In honor of the Super Bowl, I'm going to debut a new series called F U Money. The idea is what would you do if you had so much money that you had loads of left over cash to blow on stupid stuff and say a big old F U to the world.

I'm not a sports fan, but if I had me some insane F U money, I would buy a professional football team and I would change their name to "The San Francisco Home Runs". I would make their mascot a crying baby with a diaper full of shit, they would have the ugliest cheerleaders central casting could find, and their outfits would be pink, glitter covered dresses with tiny ladies hats on top of their helmets.

At first all San Francisco football fans, and the team would hate me, but in time they would be so mocked, that they would learn to fight for their dignity, and eventually become awesome, thanks to my Johnny Cash approach to management. Wait, didn't somebody already do this?