You Know What They Say...?

Nothing makes one look less intelligent than spiting out a bunch of cliché during an intellectual conversation... except for maybe spiting them out wrong.

The next time you find yourself surrounded by the elite, be it at a fancy dinner party, job interview, or date, try replacing your old stand by cliché with the slightly confused, subtly screwed up versions I provided below. Remember they're only funny if you picture yourself in a tuxedo holding a glass of red wine and beginning each one humorlessly with the phrase,"Well, you know what they say...

1. An apple a day is the doctor's way.

2. Stop being around the bush.

3. Never look at a gift horse's mouth.

4. Art intimidates life.

5. Let the ships fall where they may.

6. Do on to others as you would do on to them.

7. Like father? You'll like the son.

8. You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours! ( But say it as a threat!)

9. The ends just imply the means.

10. Life is like a bunch of chocolate, you never know which one you'll get.

Good luck!

Dan